fiddlestick | IC Contact

More than simple attraction and wanting to date him?

You mean when I figured out I loved him?

[ YOU CAN'T JUST

COME OUT AND SAY IT LIKE THAT.

Except you kinda can, dammit Elliot. ]

... Yes.

[SAY THE L WORD YUSUKE]

Haha...

Well, it's a little embarrassing, but...it was about a couple months after we started dating? When I started remembering some other guy from my memories.

[ LOOK IT IS

A LOT. And Sanji would probably bolt. ]

Oh? He reminds you of someone you already knew?

[Sanji's not in this conversation!!!]

Haha, sorta. Honestly, sometimes Ren reminds me of him too.

Anyway, my past self really liked this guy. I remember the feelings really well. And he was a great guy too. So I started wondering what that meant.

But...something, I can't remember what exactly, it made me confront those feelings and memories. And even though I remember feeling so strongly for this guy....memories was all it was. Who I am now didn't feel that way. I only find myself feeling that way about Eren. Stronger even, than what I remember feeling about the other guy.

That's when I knew.

[ What if he Just Knows though?? What then?? ]

So you were able to filter through your feelings, and realise that the ones that were strongest were your current ones for Eren?

That's quite sweet. Some people seem to latch onto past emotions and have trouble detaching from them... but that is not a good way to grow. I do not believe we have to be the same as the people from our memories. It would do us now a disservice if we tried too hard to be.

[Sanji is somewhere out there trying to leave the planet because Yusuke said the word "love" to someone. Yep i believe it]

Yep, that's basically it!

And I agree. I want to remember my past life, but I don't think anyone should have to feel obligated to live life exactly like your past self did either.

Though I'm not sure how much my answer helps you, since I'm guessing you're trying to figure out what you feel for yourself?

[ Yusuke knows how to pick 'em. ]

I am me. While the other person in my memories may also be me, we have had too different an upbringing, and lives, to assume we could step into each other's shoes.

... Yes, something along those lines. I do not have Eren in my mind giving me a kick start this time around, so it is ... tricky.

Yeah. I wonder if the other you and other me would've been friends...

[He doesn't see why they wouldn't be, but it'd be a very different situation]

Haha, not sure Eren would be much help anyway with this. He's not good at distinguishing between the more subtle things in relationships. [Dating vs commitment, love vs like. When Eren feels something, he does it all the way and he does it fast. ]

Let's see...do you see yourself with Sanji long term?

I would hope so. He would be at a distinct loss if he were the sort of person your other self would not choose to befriend.

Ah, so I was lucky he was able to help me out then, and not now.

[ ... There's the big question. ]

That is a rather strange thing to ask, when you consider it. Long term could be anything, and many things I could not predict for. Yet, when I think of months and years down the line in general, I find I hope the same people I know now are around me then as well.

Awww. Don't worry, I'm sure my other self would try at least! He doesn't seem that different from me.

Okay, right. I know, you can't predict things. But how would you feel if Sanji wasn't there? Five years from now.

That would be nice. I would like to be friends with you across many universes.

...

I'm not sure if I can. He is a fixture in my life now, and it would feel strange not to have him as part of it.

Me too, that'd be cool. But at least we have one universe down for sure.

Hehe, well that's a good sign!

One is a good start.

...

Oh, is that an indicator? I'm never quite sure how to describe it. I am comfortable with him, and enjoy being with him. I could say the same about being with my friends, but I know it is a different sort of feeling.

Right. It's a very different feeling. I know what you mean by that.

I mean, I really want you guys still in my life five years from now too! But...it's very hard to imagine a future without Eren in it.

Yes... that's probably an answer enough.

Why would you have to? You two are attached at the hip, I doubt either of you will be going astray.

Well I don't think we'd separate by CHOICE, sure.
But something bad could always happen.

...

I feel it is best not to dwell on these sorts of things too much.

I don't dwell on it!

Just acknowledge it.

That still feels a little sad... but perhaps it is also practical in ways I don't wish to consider.

Yeah, I know.
It IS a pretty morbid thought to have.

Perhaps morbidity is necessary sometimes.

Sometimes, I suppose...

Anyway, we're getting off topic.
Is this helping you figure out your answer?

... Perhaps.

I was hoping I'd get something that would answer the questions completely, but... this is something I suppose I must figure out myself. The guidance is greatly appreciated though.

Eheh, yeah...sorry. If love wasn't so mysterious, artists and musicians wouldn't make stuff about it all the time.

I'm sure you'll figure it out! You're very true to yourself.

IC Contact

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