fiddlestick | IC Contact

[ That massive silence to respond after reading the message is the sound of his insides getting run through a shredder. This isn't happening. ]

you're dating?

[That was a long pause on Eren's end. It's enough to make him feel even more nervous. But why should he feel nervous? Eren was probably just doing something on his end. Right? Right. ]

No. Not dating!
Just a date.

[Shoot. There's a pause. He knows he should explain, but it's not like he's ever really mentioned his sexuality to Eren. He never lied ... he just avoided the topic like the plague. But now that was a little tough. He could use neutral pronouns but...that'd give it away just as much.

No, he should just be honest. It's Eren. Eren was always honest with him. It should be okay- right? Right.]

There's this guy I met on the app.
Through one of those misfires, actually.
Anyway, he got a hold of some tickets to a local show and asked me out.

Edited 2017-09-12 23:56 (UTC)

[ So, he's dating.

Eren's inexperience and terminology interpretation aside, he has to stop and put the phone down for a second. Stop, look back down, back up. It ends with him smacking his hand to his face and keeping it there.

It's a date, with a guy. One of the top things that curbed his choices.

It would be stellar to think that it's no big deal, he wants to think it's not, but he has never felt so much self loathing in his life. Here he was, worried for weeks about something so stupid— personal insecurity, confusion, rejection, failure, and look where that led him. A one way ticket down a dead end street. Someone much faster, sharper, and confident in this department got to it way before he could.

To a play, no less. He didn't even think about a play, he thought about Applebee's. It wasn't even going to be an official date.

Eren feels completely stupid for the flare of jealousy that delays his typing, but even more, he's angry, as hell, for being a titanic dumbfuck. He actually had more a chance than he thought, but danced around it like some— chickenshit. He danced around excuses, and now the only person he's ever liked in eighteen years had the chance of being gone. See, this is why he's not a relationship person.

He might be exaggerating, but it extends and stands for everything Eren wasn't on a normal day. It's a small pack of failure, but it crumbles every bit of what he expected from himself, all the time. You dumbfuck, Eren thinks as he kicks the tire of his car. What an even bigger dumbfuck for feeling the way he was. He wanted to hurl (something into the ground). ]

oh ok
sorry for not getting to this right away i was driving
but that's cool

[ Lie after lie, and it made him want to grate his teeth. No reaction to coming out, no question to anything. He's glad this is text, he can fake it all he wants. The texting still sounds like him on any normal day, he thought. ]

have fun 👍🏻

[That...must of been a very long drive, if the "Seen" timestamp had anything to say about it. Elliot can feel himself fretting like crazy, even if he's not sure why. He's not doing anything wrong. Someone asked him out on a date, and he agreed to it. Why shouldn't he date? His brother was fine with him dating, he didn't have to worry about his Aunt and Uncle while he was in Recolle, he was eighteen, and Eren ... Eren's never showed any interest.

So why did he feel bad?

Maybe he'd been listening to too many musicals. Part of him was hoping something would change, that something would get said that he keeps hoping get said. But...that's really not how these things work, is it?]

Thanks.
Idk the guy very well.
Never even met him in person.
So it could turn out to be a bad time.
But at least I'll get to see Rent.

[Why is he saying this? Why is he trying to talk down his date so much? Franklin has been nothing but perfectly nice to him. Charming, even.

Maybe he should try to get off topic. ]

Anyway, I wanted to ask.
Is there any ceremony for training graduation?
I wanna go if there is.

Or if there isn't, we could do something
To celebrate!

Edited 2017-09-13 01:35 (UTC)

[ He's not even . . . Reading this right. When eyes hit extra words about the guy the rest is a blur that keeps making his stomach sink like an anchor out at sea, landing straight to the end of "Rent". He rubs his face again, feeling the need to do something— drive, speed through a straight, hear his car's motor roar, listen to some Killswitch. There's nothing like lyrical screaming. Maybe he can visit Tifa on the way.

Why he was even this upset was beyond him. Maybe he just had some sort of predisposition.

But the thought of seeing Elliot so soon tore at him even further. He didn't want to. Well, he wanted to, but the sooner he can get over it and stop being a shit, the better. He doesn't lie to him, but— he doesn't make concrete plans either. He sends the date of his graduation, family and friends would be there anyway. A Saturday morning. ]

you know how much i love parties

[ Not a lot. Okay, he didn't need to say that, as joking as he wanted it to sound. Maybe he should just stop, before he looks suspicious. ]

I'll see you around then

Haha, you mean not at all?
Well, we can always sneak away.

[Right. Just try to inject a bit of normalcy. Elliot has never been too fond of parties either. The only time he felt comfortable in a room with that many people was if he had an instrument in his hand]

I'll be there.
I'm really proud of you.

[ sneak away

]

thanks
we'll see what we do k 👌🏻

Edited 2017-09-13 10:12 (UTC)

~~What's wrong?~~
~~Are you mad-~~
~~I'm sorry-~~

[He types all of those out and deletes them before hitting send. Something seems...off about Eren's messages, but maybe he's just reading into things too much. His nerves are making him see things that aren't there.]

ok.
ttyl.

[He forces himself to put away his phone, he has to get ready. But you better believe he'll be anxiously checking throughout the night.]

IC Contact

no subject

no subject

https://youtu.be/DppH8vTggYg

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject