fiddlestick | IC Contact

[It hurts, just watching Eren go through being verbally cut open and salt poured on the wounds. Even if it's important, even if it's necessary for Eren to wake up, it still hurts so much to see.

He...he can't blame Eren, for wanting to take the easy path. He has to deal with so much, who wouldn't be tempted to take the easier way? Humans get tired after all. They can't be strong all the time. Elliot wasn't. There were so many times he was weak. When he made compromises, concessions.

It's the last part that makes his expression soften. He...he can't be mad for Eren wanting to see him as weak. He saw himself as weak a lot of the time. But that last part...]

Hey...don't say something like that. [He lifts his hand to wipe some of the tears from Eren's eyes with his thumb] S-Saying I'm better...it sounds like you're giving up on yourself. And I don't want that kind of pedestal either.

[He sniffs a little] Honestly, I can't pretend I understand every challenge you're going through. I just...I'm just a guy who wants to be with you, the real you. That's all.

You’re looking at him.

[ eren swallows, and even if elliot wipes the rolling tears from the corners of his eyes, streams continue to replace them. he’s never cried so much. the only time he remembers crying like this, it wasn’t even when dad died— it was during the other life, where eren had only wished that he never happened, and if he can’t go back, at least he could have died right then and there.

and doom the world. he’s so confused. ]

This— mess, that doesn’t know who he is anymore. Maybe I never did. [ he inhales with shaking breath. ] Challenges . . . They aren’t an excuse.

[ he’s this way because— because he chose to be. there’s no one to blame here but himself. the easy path has many faults, as the most difficult path surprises with greater rewards. his own hand comes up to touch elliot’s, lightweight and perhaps even frightened. ]

They’re meant for us to overcome and I failed a lot more than once. I failed you.

[ he’s failed, but.

he’s been more human now than he’s ever been in months. ]

Eren...

[He'll take that hand, and with his other arm, move to hold him into a holding hug. He rests his chin against his shoulder, trying to be as comforting as possible. ]

Shhh...you haven't failed me. I'm still here.

[It wasn't too late to fix things. To mend the space between them and go back to being the team they once were. Elliot wasn't ready to call it quits. He loved Eren too much, saw too much good in him even if Eren struggled to see the same. ]

Just let it all out, okay? I'm not going anywhere.

[Let himself cry it out. It feels miserable now, but it'll help in the long run. ]

For how long?

[ it’s not really a question to elliot and more of a question meant to return to him. for how long will he be going back and forth? how many times will he have to get so lost that he builds another gap between them? between friends. he didn’t know, that was one side.

or he can suck up, right now and say “never again”. he said never before and it’s why he doesn’t say it again. he’s remorseful, but he’s not stupid. never say never.

god damn it. ]

Don’t— answer that. I know the answer. [ clover was so right, too. ] If I’m going to tell you everything, it’s too much for one night.

I just don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to see that look on your face again.

[He had been opening his mouth to answer, but Eren cuts him off. He bites his lip a little, looking up at him]

I meant...the tears. I wasn't expecting you to tell me everything tonight, really.

We can take our time with that. I have things to tell you too. [He reaches over for his hand, gently holding it and soothing the skin with his thumb]

It won't be easy, but we'll get through this. I know it.

I meant tears, too.

[ because the only way to get rid of them was . . . getting through them. and getting through them meant, those other things. eren holds onto his hand a little better, shoulder to shoulder, but sniffing as his face remains hidden in a lean against his fiancé. ]

I just— hate crying. Like it’s the only thing I could do.

[ instead of, you know. changing something. ]

[ Akira has actually been watching from the small creak of the door, though only recently. Fortunately, he didn’t get to hear all of the details, but there was one part that is loud and clear. He squints at the two, though not at all malicious or slighted.

Still. Can’t a dead man sleep? ]

We hate you crying, too.

[ Since he made himself known, he enters the room and assaults both of them for a hug. The atmosphere is enough to tell him that this is what they all need—no questions, none at all. Even if he has some idea what this is about, the point is his close friend has been bawling his eyes out and they need to hush him if they plan on getting any peace.

Of course, he also hopes that Eren can feel that he’s not alone. Likewise, that both Elliot and Eren remember that. ]

[Elliot was about to open his mouth to respond to him, when Akira speaks up instead. It catches him by surprise, had they been that loud?]

Akira-

[And then they get assaulted for a hug. Elliot makes a squeak sound as he gets pulled into a group hug, but then he relaxes and returns the hug as well. That's right, let's hug it out]

[ he forgets that a lot.

akira’s voice following the squeak of the door opening catches him by surprise; his mouth hangs open about to say something more before his throat just shuts. one arm is still hanging around elliot’s back and waist, while the other loosely finds its way around his other friend’s back. it was irony. it was a very cruel irony to be surrounded by so many splendid people he sometimes felt, like right now, that he didn’t deserve.

but he deserves to be happy too, doesn’t he? and so do they. elliot, most of all, and the friends that surround eren. when he stops to think about it, there’s one thing that never changes. he wants them all to be happy.

he holds his breath, hides his face into elliot’s neck, and tries his hardest to hold it in before he’s probably the source, between them both, that shakes like an earthquake. he’s not lying down, but

]

IC Contact

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject