fiddlestick | IC Contact

[A single nod.]

All I remember thinking was "not again."

...I remembered a little more of it later, on my own. I called out to him, and he said he was "fine," that it "barely scratched him."

[He manages a weak smile.]

I wanted to believe it, then, but... even if I hadn't already known deep down in this life, I guess that scar of his proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt, huh?

Yeah...it does...

[Rean manages a smile, but Elliot doesn't. He looks incredibly sad. Even if he knows all of them had to die somehow in order for their current selves to exist, it's still never easy to hear about any of their deaths. ]

But...it also prove he did care. If he was clearing a path for you, that means he was fighting on our side, right?

[Rean nods again. He knows this, too.]

...There are other things that I remember, even from when I remember being angry with him.

He'd come into the room I was staying in because he knew I'd be overthinking my options. He was kind of an ass about it, teasing me about it, but... I think that was just him trying to hide that he was worried, looking back. Still trying to act like the "bad guy."

...he brought me lunch, on that airship. Made it himself, even, even though we had the Noble Alliance's chefs at our disposal.

I remember him chewing me out for almost getting caught up in an explosion, trying to put on that same cold voice like he didn't care even while he was telling me to my face he did.

And I know he was with us at the end. I don't know how we got there, but it doesn't seem nearly as important.

[He shakes his head.]

If anything was a lie, it was him telling us he didn't care. I'm sure of that.

[Holy crap Crow, you're hopelessly gay for Rean even when you're trying to be a big bad terrorist.

But no, hearing this? Causes him to relax some. Yeah...his other self was right. Rean's memories prove it. The Crow he knew, the one he missed- he was real. He wasn't a mirage.]

That...all sounds like Crow, alright. He likes to play it cool, but he cares a lot.

I don't know what drove him to become a terrorist, but I get the feeling he didn't join just to cause misery.

I'm sure he didn't. I don't remember, either. I remember up to just before he was about to tell me, but not what he actually said.

Helpful, I know.

[Another bitter little smile as he finally starts unwrapping his (poor, cold) McMuffin.]

It's funny, in a way. He talked about it then the same way he does about himself now.

"Just your run-of-the-mill sob story."

Eheh, it's okay. I know how unhelpful the memories can be sometimes.

[Yes good, eat Rean.]

That's...way more humble than you'd think a terrorist would be. What a weird guy.

You should tell him all this.

Crow's weird through and through. But that's what makes him special.

[Rean, that's gay. He takes a bite, chewing and swallowing before responding.]

I'm planning to. I just wanted to talk through things with you, first. I figured you might have some information to fill in some of the holes I have... and besides, I at least talked to him a little. I haven't talked with you in a week.

[...A guilty smile.]

I'm still sorry about that, by the way. I said I'd apologize in person, so.

Haha, so true.

[Yeah that's gay, but also very cute so he'll let it pass]

Oh, you...you don't have to apologize. [he pushes a lock of his hair behind his ear] You were pretty freaked out by what happened.

I-I mean, Eren...did the same thing when he first turned into a titan, so... I get it.

[...]

Though okay, leaving the group chat was a little dramatic.

[That last bit brings a bit of a flush to Rean's cheeks, pausing before taking a bite and peering up at Elliot from under dark bangs.]

...h-hey. I just wanted it to be quiet for a little bit, okay? I was always planning on coming back.

Okay, you could've just put it on mute. Or you could've just said that before you left.

[THOSE ARE THINGS YOU CAN DO REAN]

Just saying, we both got pretty anxious when you left, that's all. It's a good thing Eren contacted us when he did, or who knows what we would've done.

Edited 2019-03-08 21:44 (UTC)

You're right, you're right...

[He looks a bit like a scolded puppy, but he deserves it. ~~In no small part because he wasn't planning on coming back before he spoke with Eren at all.~~]

I'm sorry. Ideally, there won't be a next time, but if there is, I'll be sure to do that instead.

Hehe, okay.

[He'll reach over and pat Rean on the shoulder, comfortingly. It's okay scolded puppy, he still loves you. ]

Yeah, I hope there isn't a next time. Though, if Crow is having a time of it right now, maybe it'll be my turn next to have some nasty surprise come up from the past life?

[He says this as a joke, honestly. Because uh yeah. He's got enough memories to know he's just a music nerd]

Aha... let's hope not. I think you've got enough on your plate just dealing with the two of us.

[He can't help but smile at that, self-deprecating as it may be.]

Aww, but being with the two of you makes it worth dealing with that.

How goes training anyway?

[That smile eases up.]

You're too sweet.

Ah... with Eren, or in general?

[It's not like he told Eren to keep their training secret.]

Aha, I'm really not. You'd say the same.

Yeah, with Eren! [Like he knows a thing about sword training ok]

Aha... ha.

Well.

I'm not dead yet, so it's a start?

[HELPFUL, REAN.]

Seriously, though... it's getting a lot easier to turn that power on at will, at least. I haven't been able to successfully hold it back or "turn it off" without it just running out of steam on its own first, but... I think I might be able to with more time.

I'm definitely way more in control of myself now, though.

Aha, I figured the not dead part.

[VERY HELPFUL REAN]

That's great to hear though! So does that mean you figured out the trigger?

[Nod.]

It's not so much being in danger as it is the fear of losing something... losing people. When it's just Eren coming after me, I mean, obviously I have some survival instinct, but that's normally not enough to kick it in.

Thinking about how I want to see you guys again, about how there's still so much I want to tell you and see you accomplish, that's enough.

Aww, really? That's sweet Rean.

[Sure arguably worrying that Rean has that little self worth that he can't trigger a survival mechanism without thinking of others but....you know what? Baby steps. Baby steps is key here]

And are you lucid when it happens?

Yeah. At least, for the most part. I was way less so the first few times it happened.

Right, I was wondering.

[He eats the last of his pancake, swallowing it. Delicious fluffy pancakes]

I remember you telling me about the bear story. That's what I knew about it.

Yeah. I remembered that, too, but it didn't really sink in until after everything had already happened.

It's still going to take a lot of time and a lot of work, but even just in a week I've started feeling more confident about it.

[Nod!!]

Yeah, it sounds like you've made loads of progress! I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll get it down for sure!

[Elliot... your enthusiasm is infectious, stop this. You're gonna make him blush. It's too early for this.]

Ahaha... just hope I can live up to those expectations, I guess.

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fiddlestick - 2019-03-09 03:44 (UTC) - Expand