fiddlestick | aefenglom IC Inbox

[ the elephant is huge, and pink, and it has a guy faux mask on.

hearing him say first time, honest to all gods living, has eren’s heart skip up and his gut drop the way it would on rollercoasters, all emotionally palpable to his bonded. his. first time, wow— not that eren was far ahead of him; he’d been his second person, a few ways down the act at this point, but . . . still. it makes what he feels all the more dire.

but things start to sort of . . . fit into place. this hadn’t only been eren, they both influenced themselves into a delightful crash course none of them had expected. bonds are never one sided, and, with that, the thought clicks into the empty space of eren’s realization. oh.

feelings that were only budding were amplified, then amplified again until they were on the floor and burning their clothes off. ]

Of— no, I don’t. [ he wouldn’t. he’d never— ] I . . . Like, you.

[ he god damn said it like some teenager just understanding what was meant by it or what he could mean by that, and his scales burn just as red as his ears do. he swallows tightly, almost too much. why was he so— flustered, all of a sudden? he’s doing this all backwards, it was almost crazy. ]

We’re bonded . . . I’d let it flow, from here. [ no strings attached, ] But I still— want to know you more. Like I said I would.

[ in the outskirts beyond the wall, where they decided a bond was a good idea. especially out of understanding. but, there you have it: i liked sleeping with you, i’m pretty sure i like you, and you like me, and i’d like to do more at a naturally easy pace, thanks for listening, i’m a nerd, did i say i liked you yet ]

[Ah yep, that sure is an emotional roller coaster he picks up when he mentions it was his first time. Maybe he should've left that tidbit out, but there was no point in denying it either.

Those words...clumsy as they may be, have more of an impact than any of the sex he's had this past week. It's so...pure, and meaningful. So much so, that he feels a tiny drop of worry. Because he knows...the feeling is mutual. In fact, it made him happy to hear it. He liked Eren too. He liked him a lot. Which was a scary prospect when he was so determined to find his way home.

An idle thought warns him that this was dangerous. One day he has to go home and he already knows how much losing someone he cares for hurts. But...it's not a thought he can bring himself to act on. Loss hurts, but the past few weeks have shown him how much loneliness can hurt too. Being with Eren...it was easier to deal with that pain.

So instead of pulling away, he finds himself admitting to it.]

I....I like you. And I'd like to know you more too.

[His own cheeks are red when he says it. There's enough sentiment in the bond to know that he means it. ]

And...And I'd be happy to help you through your heat again. I'll work on getting used to the Bond so it doesn't become so...overwhelming again.

[ worry invades eren’s thoughts and his eyes lift to them, and while he could be . . . plenty dense, feeling one’s own feelings was helpful. maybe he’d feel the same way, if things were different. if he actually had something long to look forward to and something stabilizing like any old life, but—

there’s a special sort of detachment to his companionship, the kind that is still warm rather than touched with coldness. eren could like, love unconditionally, and still finds himself free.

he’ll miss the people he’ll have to leave here one day, but then again he’ll have to leave all his dearest one day. is that the way he should go about it? perhaps . . . and also if it were mutual. ]

Don’t think of it as help. Just . . . Let things flow. [ they’ll find their way around it, and themselves, naturally. but, with something else to attend to now . . . ] You’re worried.

[ he just doesn’t know . . . how else to address it, and he doesn’t want to make assumptions. he could see the color— he just cant make out the shape. ]

Ah...right. You can feel that.

[That is still something he's getting used to with the Bond. Combat Links could pick up emotions here and there, but it wasn't this strong. He didn't have many things to hide, but having someone know everything you're feeling is still something anyone would have to get used to.

Not to mention, he feels a bit bad saying it. "I'm worried about saying goodbye" when he knows Eren's time is much more limited feels so...small and privileged. ]

I-It's nothing, really. It's... [He tries to think about how to talk about it. But it meant talking about Crow to someone who didn't know him and...]

...I'm sorry, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. It's really just overthinking things. I do that a lot.

[ good. in the sense that, he told him not ready to talk about it instead of going with his first option, it’s nothing. eren’s head dips, acknowledging the choice in a curt but slowly placed nod, before his attention drifts to his hands, fingers covering fingers.

so, reciprocated feelings, and if he read right, reciprocated interest to feed their fondness if it feels correct to. eren pulls his chair closer to elliot in a rattle, sitting in front of him for better proximity. he’s just— unsure, about words and feelings adding up. there was still worry, regardless of overthinking. ]

Do what you’ll regret less, or not at all, from here on out.

[ not just counting the night they had, but— you, know, everything forward. taking care of the bond itself, which grows strong when given heart, contact, everything they need to stand, survive, and not lose themselves. it’s not as if he’ll want to end their bond if they won’t have intimacy, but, boundaries, and that’ll reflect easily on the relationship until it wanes. especially if they deny themselves. alas, this was a tough subject to tread across, because he knew what it was.

he’s firm in his choice, but respectable to the other’s. ]

I’ll be alright, either way. That’s what Bonds are for me. [ he holds his hand out, palm up. it’s a small gesture, chaste and probably rather generic to anything that could be intimate— but that’s exactly the point. he won’t push for anything that leaves a strain. his vows are . . . really loud, here. he knows he doesn’t have to repeat them, but the energy is still the same. ] Accepting each other for who we are.

[ i wasn’t going to say it, but i will: you are free. ]

["Accepting each other for who we are"

Eren had said something similar during the bonding ceremony, but it was still reassuring and touching all the same. Eren was a good man. In a different world, he could see him fitting in with the rest of Class VII -- the others who accepted Elliot for who he was.

"Do what you'll regret less, or not at all, from here on out". It was...a simple philosophy, basic even. But it was effective. Sometimes simplicity is what he needed to cut through the nerves in his head.]

"We are free", right? [He says, reciting Eren's vows. Yes. He remembered them.

Seeing Eren's hand out, it does make him realize one thing he'd like to do. Gently, he'll take that hand, wrapping his small fingers around a much bigger hand. He pulls the hand towards him, as if indicating he wants Eren to follow him onto the bed]

...Lay with me as we talk? I think I'd regret if the only time we really touch was like that night.

[Primal, rushed, and rough. He didn't regret that night, but Elliot had too many soft edges to only be like that. This might lead to more, he doesn't know. But right now, he has more he wants to say to Eren and had that desire to be close to him as well.

So in other words, it's cuddling time ✨ ]

Edited 2019-07-01 13:07 (UTC)

[ ah that’s . . . that’s really all he needs. eren’s cheeks are burning a deeper color under the redness of his scales, but it isn’t accompanied with furrowed brows. if anything, there’s a smallest skips in his chest that works its way into a tumble in his gut, the kind that makes his lips curve and his teeth poke into them, enough that he has to adjust before he ends up biting himself, following onto the softer surface and laying his side down right in front of elliot’s. ]

I prefer it.

[ another bit of admittance, it’s not like he’d just stop being honest after making himself clear earlier, of all thing!

he doesn’t let go of his hand for one, and takes note of the feeling of the other’s palm pressed into his fingers. they’re . . . soft, taken care of, delicate and thin but highly skilled with the way they define so cleanly. ]

Musician hands?

[ he’s getting eater at telling the difference. ]

[Elliot's own heart skips a beat too when Eren agrees and moves onto the bed with him. His cheeks are pink from blush, but something felt right when Eren laid next to him. Elliot, lying on his side as well, cuddled up close. His leg moved over to intertwine with his Bond's]

Yeah, that's right. [He wiggles a couple fingers to show off the callouses on the tip] Got these callouses playing instruments.

[It was a point of pride for some musicians, to have such callouses. It meant they worked hard at their trade, and now could handle it better than others.

There's a pause, before he finally admits the off-topic truth]

While you were sleeping ... I slept with Mikleo. Just so you know.

[There is freedom and there is the allowance of doing what your partner wants- but then there is hiding things behind their back]

[ this is. plenty good. very good. eren only shifts his hips some to accommodate, but the rest is left the way it is. his hold goes to elliot’s fingers to inspect them with more closeness. you know, this reminds him of when he was a few years younger— he couldn’t get callouses. it was a suppressed sort of jealousy compared to his comrades.

he about to mention it, but that more than stops him like a screeching record. eren’s expression is one of soft surprise. oh, wow, that’s.

sugoi . . . .

there go his scales again, ah this was not a good idea elliot! his imagination is so colorful during his heat season, god damn. it makes his neck and ears burn as heat rises with the color, and a mild huff of what was like a realizing chuckle escapes through his fangs. oh, his night makes sense now. he knew he felt something and it was—

well, he had a fantastic time with himself while they up and done it. ]

I wasn’t sleeping, then. [ this is ten sugoi actually. there’s not a trace of upset in him, just. quite a bit of the opposite. his fingers curl around elliot’s a little firmer now, and his legs rub, at least once. ]

Y-You weren't?

[Surprise dawns on his face very clearly. Truth be told, the entire time it had gone down he hadn't thought about how it'd affect his bond. Eren had been asleep as far as he knew, and Mikleo was right there and that spiced drink was gasoline on the flame he'd already held for the guy.

He should feel mortified, and maybe a little of him did, but he can feel that reaction from Eren. It felt like a milder version of what he felt the other night with him. He finds himself swallowing, blush reaching his cheeks as he dares himself to ask]

W-What...What were you doing?

[ oh boy, here we go? here we go. eren breathes in, holds his inhale for a moment (not because he's nervous, just, well, it's not something all that casual), then quietly breathes out from the nose. warm air should tickle elliot's face, and eren's tongue wets his lips for the smell close to him. ]

Going . . . Solo. [ he god damn said it, there ] Twice.

[ and oddly enough: he's right on the money. they had two rounds at it, didn't they! ]

[Elliot's eyes widen in surprise at Eren's confession. Because yeah, Eren was right on the money. They had done it twice. ]

Twice? T-That's...

[The Bond was strong enough to affect Eren that like that. Sure, that was basically what happened on the night of the full moon. They had fed on each other's lust until they were out of control. But to have it happen when Eren wasn't even near him, and when Elliot had been with someone else...

His cheeks burn with blush. A realization sinks in. ]

...Since we've bonded, it's been, um, easier to get horny. Sometimes enough to even go...solo too.

Those times, it must've been... [Whenever Eren was getting hot and heavy with someone]

[ . . . yeah. they were doing it. it could’ve been, as it couldn’t have, but knowing mikleo and knowing elliot, he’s almost sure he doesn’t need more evidence. there’s a subtle smile there on his lips— not quite a full smile and not a flat lined purse, either. elliot’s cheeks are pink and he could almost feel how heated they are from here, bringing a hand up to glide his finger down them and rest there. ]

Probably. [ they did it a lot. as for him telling him . . . hopefully he could sweep off any worries on his shoulders that would have been there. ] Were you worried?

[The pink on his cheeks get a little brighter as Eren touches them. Without really thinking about it, he tilts his head towards that hand, so he can get more of that touch. ]

...Not really. We're free, like you said. [It's a truthful answer, and pretty profound considering how much Elliot did worry.] I mean, maybe I was a little before the full moon, but after that and the time with Mikleo...

[He had a better understanding what it meant to have sex, especially in this world. While still a personal thing, not something he'd do with just anyone, it wasn't as big a deal anymore. And if Eren was fine with them sleeping with other people, then there wasn't anything to worry about.]

J-Just...try not to get it on while I'm in class? It's hard enough to learn magic without getting hot and horny during lectures.

[ a deep chuckle comes from eren that sounds a lot more like a gruff sigh. he never outright laughs, unfortunately. not in this life, but the smile is enough to shed light on his feelings. ]

I work during the day. So do my bonds. [ elliot and mikleo, which, while it does slip under the radar (with no true intention of doing so), eh. nbd. he thumbs the other’s deep colored cheeks, warm to the touch of his fingertips and gliding . . . just a bit more to his lips. agh, his chest is skipping. ] My season doesn’t work like that, I think.

[ he has some self control now come on ]

[Even if Eren doesn't give a full on laugh, that smile is enough to warm Elliot's heart. Affectionately, he'll smile back, his own hand lifting to brush his fingers a little against his hair.

His own chest skips at those fingers on his lips. Still, unfortunately for Eren, Elliot still feels the inclination to gently tease him.]

Ehe, you say that but....you're turned on right now, aren't you?

[ you

oh, goddamn it. if his scales had dimmed a little during regular conversation, now, they go vibrant. he’s been caught red handed, holding his breath once he finds himself coming just a bit closer. eren’s tongue sets his lips in the process, being near to elliot’s scent really doesn’t aid his case—! his thumb follows the contour of elliot’s smile, and he lifts his brows. ]

Yeah. [ there’s no use in hiding! ] You made it worse when you mentioned staying with Mikleo.

[ he’s

he’s imagining things, blame the heat season . . . blame it. ]

Aha, really?

[He is not at all sorry. In fact, there's a little grin on his face as he watches Eren react. Playfully, his hand will slide up through his hair and wrap his fingers around his horn. He vaguely remembered how much Eren liked being touched there.]

He was different from you. Gentle, but clearly liked being in charge.

Both of us had that spiced drink, so we ended up renting a room in the brothel because we couldn't wait long enough to get back to either of our places.

[That's right, he sure is fueling that imagination for Eren]

[ elliot you can’t just do that (he can, and the fact that he does is all the more provoking). the fingers earn a surprise tense down his neck and shoulders that only lasts a second— eren is on his way towards melting, pushing a content sigh through his cheeks and burning with indigo sheens and scales on their way to scarlet.

eren’s hand gets a little heavier, fingers beginning to drag slowly into elliot’s scalp until he’s at his nape, sharing breaths. oh, how he would’ve liked to come across them, now that he’s imagining it. ]

I didn’t go out on Lithia. [ he was recovering from full moon hangover. ] Who kissed who first?

[He can and he will. It was fun watching Eren slowly melt. He's still not sure why someone as hot as Eren or beautiful as Mikleo would find him attractive or alluring- but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth right now. Those fingers on him send a shiver down his skin.]

That's too bad, I think you would've liked it. [But yea, full moon hangover is a thing.

He moves his own hand back to gently guide Eren's hand to his hair ribbon back there. A simple pull is all that's needed to do undo it. ]

I did, after serenading him a little.

[There's a bit of blush at the memory. Sure, he didn't regret doing it...but it's a little embarrassing talking about it]

I can do more than imagine his face.

[ implying that he knows more than just an imagination; he can probably pinpoint exactly when he felt the surprise down to the build up the kiss left him with: double the hot mess and touching himself to relieve it. he followed them all the way down to climax and back.

this is to say, he doesn’t leave much room for elliot to say anything else. he’s profusely turned on, shifting his legs to accommodate the burn in his groin and pushing his palm down into his arousal, stirring with thoughts, with touches. all of that moving about is short lived when he scoots his front enough to break whatever space they still had between them. the scene, elliot’s forwardness that he uses to fill the blanks in has his heart thumping a little harder, dipping his head, cupping elliot’s head sideways and guiding him to do the same—he gets one more beautiful look of cherry red cheeks before he’s too close to flesh to truly see more then blurs. they shut, and he kisses him, far more gentle and prepared to take his time to get to know him.

at least they know for a fact that, that night wasn’t going to be an awkward one night stand. ]

Oh?

[Now that's an interesting statement that raises questions not to be answered anytime soon. His words had finally pushed Eren over that edge where he can't restrain himself anymore. He catches where that palm is, and watching it makes his own groin burn, his own thoughts stirring.

He knew bonds could be platonic or familial, but there was no doubt where this bond landed. It'd be easy to blame Eren's mating season, but Elliot knew it was more than that. He'd wanted the other since the day they met. His lust for his bonded, the hunger...it was all his own.

And so when Eren guides his head into a kiss- there's no hesistation in going along. Lips make contact with lips, and he returns the kiss in earnest. It's gentle and slow- but it's full. Unlike the other night, there's no rushing things. He wanted to get the full profile of Eren's taste. His hand reaches up to Eren's cheek, running his fingers along the ridges of his facial scales]

Mmm... [He's enjoying himself, clearly. He breaks the kiss, staying within reach of those lips, to murmur]

You don't have anywhere to be today, right?

[Because he wants to bask in this as long as he possibly can]

[ this could’ve lead to him just saying he’s bonded to mikleo naturally, but. kisses distract him from going through with it. a stupid tragedy that will be explained later. and fixed. with more kisses.

this. was good. this, was nice. this was repairing the bond and safeguarding it from any awkward see-sawing. eren begins to shift his side, arm propping him up until he’s on both of them, rising above his bonded and hovering as his legs get moving, one between the other’s legs while the second stations outward. ]

I just need to do my rounds later.

[ later. ]

Much later, I hope.

[He smiles up at him as Eren props himself over him, his legs spreading out enough to give that leg more room. ]

...I'm glad it was you, for my first. [He feels the need to say that. It'd be too easy for Eren to get the wrong idea of how Elliot felt about that night] So much pressure is put on that first time, you know? It'd make me anxious just thinking about it.

But...I didn't feel anxious with you. [His hand will reach up to thumb some of the scales on Eren's cheek] I felt...free.

[ in turn, eren doesn’t quite grin, but his smile certainly settles like water on a surface– fluid and spreading where it could. arms sturdy in keeping him up, his hand sets almost messily over elliot’s head, but holding tenderness to it. affection. ]

. . . I’m glad I could help you find that. [ he wasn’t the one who gave it to him, after all. elliot found so himself, eren simply helped trigger it. ] You’re as deserving of it as anyone. Don’t forget you are free.

[ especially when he’s around. ]

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