fiddlestick | aefenglom IC Inbox

Not so bad.

[ but he gestures and waits for elliot to come over and walk him over there, anyway.

but, yeah. lex!!! ]

I managed to keep her asleep until now.

Uh huh, sure. [Because Mikleo and Lex would love to wake up to see Eren with a broken nose from falling flat on his face, surely.

He comes over to Eren, standing side by side and lifting Eren's arm so it'll rest on his opposite shoulder. He's wrap his arm around his waist but...the wing blocks that. So him acting like something to lean on will have to do]

Considering her world...she's probably used to sleeping through worse. [Like how she was intent on sleeping through the entire dream] I like her, she's nice.

[ eren’s stiff, walks on wobbling for a few paces— but for perhaps one of the first times he was offered help, eren retreats. his arm pulls away from his bonded’s shoulder, and he walks. he came all the way out here on his own, it wasn’t now that he’ll need a crutch. he was used to accepting it, but there’s more to it than this. no matter how many times he tells himself they have nothing to do with it, the same apprehension sits on his concerns. ]

. . . I meant it, Elliot.

[ the last thing he wants to do is emotionally attack him to force him away, but the point stands. eren’s feelings are reserved, tense but more gentle in his honesty than he could’ve been. there’s loss. there’s a hole in his heart that he doesn’t think freedom can fill. he doesn’t want to lose anyone because he relied on them. ever again. the smaller the favor the bigger the habit.

what’s worse (or better?) is the pang that comes with elliot’s comment of lex. a bubble of warmth that doesn’t deserve the look on the dragon’s melancholy face. he loves her. like a smitten fool. ]

Me too. Both of you.

[He's a little surprised to feel Eren retreat. Eren's always been independent, but he's never really pulled away like this. He feels a little baffled, confused- as if something that wasn't supposed to happen just happened.

Were he younger, he'd probably take that as a comment about him. Heck even now, unwanted anxious thoughts tease such an idea. But he's matured enough to push aside those thoughts for now before he could jump to any conclusions, and tries to get clues from Eren to what's going on. Feelings from the bond, his body language, his choice of words...

...]

And we like you too, you know.

[There's a feeling of confidence with his words, warmth and love. There may be no filling that hole in Eren's heart, but that hole doesn't have to be the only thing there.

He won't try to take him again, but he does speak gently, picking up on that apprehension mixed with that loss. He doesn't know what happened in Eren's memories, and true to his word- he's not going to pry. And such, he can only speak for their own situation now.]

Someday we'll go our separate ways. And it'll hurt, no matter what. But that's all the more reason to embrace the time our song lasts, don't you think?

Edited 2019-09-13 05:04 (UTC)

[ it’s a favorable way to see it, and eren . . . would agree. he does agree. it’s the reason why he’s even bonded, and is staying that way without any sudden canceling. it’s why he lays with them, why he does spend time with them and why he’s allowed himself to anchor and harbor feelings since the beginning. ]

Let’s see how the tune plays out. [ he might not be saying yes or no, because things could change as plans do— but, he’s not going to turn blind eyes and make promises he maybe might not be able to keep. he’s willing, in all honesty, but he knows he has the cold calculation to do the opposite, no matter how much it twists him inside.

he’s not a good person and he’s pretty sure that no one is aware of that yet. he doesn’t know which is worse, leave them in innocence, let them find out on their own or just show them already. “see how the tune plays out”, he thinks again. and with that, smiles, small but there. he was born to feel, born to live, and born to be free. ]

There’s a lot of ground to cover.

[He knows Eren agrees to it. Their time together being finite wasn't new, they'd known it from the beginning. But sometimes a little reminder of that helps, especially when he feels apprehension over loss coming from the other.]

That's all we can do. [He says in agreement, his tone still gentle and warm. He wasn't expecting any promises here. But seeing a smile coming out of Eren was rewarding enough, no matter how small.

This time, he'll reach out to hand to take one of Eren's. A compromise. He won't force the other to lean on him, but he wants to be there for him all the same.]

Aha, good thing I like traveling.

[ even if he’s hurting and even if the smile is short lived— at least it was there. the hand that comes into his, though, that isn’t necessarily retreated from. at first, loose holding takes command before eren ends up inhaling. a slightly firmer hold from there, not too tight, not too dead.

he’s alright with this, all up until they get there. ]

I’ll . . . See you later. [ . . . honestly? there’s a better word for this. ] Thank you.

[He gets a small smile on his face as Eren firms up the hold of his hands. As they walk, he intertwines his fingers with Eren's claws. He's used enough to the clawed hands that he knows how to move his fingers without getting cut

When they reach the spot, he gives Eren's hand one last affectionate squeeze before letting go and stepping back.]

Hey, anytime. [He means it too.] Say hi to Lex for me, okay?

[ . . . sure, says the expression on his face, solemn but sturdy in the way that he comes over to knock their heads together, before he turns to slip away.

some time to himself to think before she wakes would do him good. ]

[The good old head knock. Elliot will bump his head against Eren's and give him one last smile before he turns and walks away.

Time to head home]

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