fiddlestick | aefenglom IC Inbox

It’s Eren, we need to talk.

[Well Elliot knows a Krueger, and considering the last time he saw her she was attacking the group, he gives a little squawk of fear when he sees the sender name.

But oh, it's Eren. False alarm.]

Aidios Eren you nearly gave me a heart attack I thought you were someone else.

Why are you Krueger??

Krüger was the last name of the man I was named after. I just spelt it different.

Who?

Edited 2020-02-04 15:46 (UTC)

Oh. That's...a sweet choice then?

[Still not sure WHY, but he'll answer the question quickly]

Um, long story short, she was a maid of my friend but she was also an assassin and member of Ouroborus. She used to be on our side, but...Well, she's not anymore.

[So. yeah. Another day, another betrayal]

So why are you using that name exactly? Something tells me it's not to pay tribute to Eren Krüger.

I wouldn’t call it sweet. It was the only alternate name I could think of and I’m not entirely creative.

[ . . . assassin maid tho, noted ]

Have you met someone named Mikasa Ackerman?

Edited 2020-02-04 16:08 (UTC)

Mikasa?

Yeah I helped fill some magic batteries for her. What about her?

We know each other

You do?

Wait. Did you change your name to avoid her?

It’s better that way. I’d rather she find out later than sooner.

[Eren....]

Can I ask why?

Yes, but I won’t tell you. I’ll show you.

[......]

Okay?

[Never knew Eren was into pictionary, but sure whatever]

[ the most insane game of pictionary yet. and since they’re bonded, if eren allows it— the gates are open to a memory that comes like the stab of a knife. there’re four sitting on the table, counting eren, and elliot may be sitting among them as if he were there. a young blond man, mikasa, a girl no older than twelve, terrified, and shivering as she stared at the man with his hair in a bun and his hand cleanly sliced, bleeding on the surface.

they all have their hands on the table. they all look petrified. eren speaks and the words are jumbled— he’s not showing him everything, it seems. that information was irrelevant. but he’s cold. mikasa attempts to speak, attempts to smile weakly, gestures to the bright red scarf around her neck— until eren’s mouth moves, his eyes narrow, and she sits back down with wide, wide eyes. his aura is direct and savage, making them flinch. especially her. the more eren talks, the more he delivers unemotional blows, the words become clear at one point: ever since i was a kid, mikasa. i’ve always hated you.

you can pinpoint the exact moment her heart shatters, and her eyes fill with tears. the blond makes to strike him from over the table (eren, how dare you—), but eren remains, unmoving, as if he knew— mikasa drives her friend into the table, and immediately stands stunned. the friend who was actually trying to protect her and she—

see? all you’ve ever done was live according to what— has told you to do. mikasa stutters, denying it quietly, but the heartbreak in her is far mor apparent when she recoils into herself, and sobs when eren delivers the final strike: that’s all you are. it’s when armin releases himself from her grin, flips the table, and punches eren right between the eyes. he doesn’t fight back, not yet. he takes an array of blows that cracks his nose and throws him into wine glasses, again and again, as if he deserved it. they all shatter—

and so does the memory. the after feeling that settles is not of the same hate that eren twisted his words into. it’s simply . . . an empty feeling.

he’s trusting elliot with this. ]

[Whatever Elliot wasn't expecting, it wasn't to have his vision be overtaken by a memory. One moment he's sitting in his room, the next he's transported to another place, another time. At least he's experienced something like this before, so it isn't as jarring but it was still surreal.

He can only watch the memory play out. The blond boy he recognizes from one of Mikasa's memories earlier, and Mikasa doesn't seem that much younger. This must've happened recently. And even though he barely knows the people in this memory except Eren, it's still...so painful to watch. It's painful to watch Mikasa get her heart broken. To watch Armin fly into a rage. To watch Eren be so cold and hostile to people who were clearly once so important to him.

...

Yeah. He's seen something like this play out before. A different situation, a different setting...but the beats were the same.

When the memory fades away, there's a moment pause before he finally responds.]

You were lying. You never hated her.

[ there’s something that feels clenched in his gut— he has not only shown elliot something his, for the first time, but mikasa completely vulnerable. it was a double edged invasion of privacy, but— it was better than his words of explanation. nothing else would be able to explain. just that. it hurt him. he didn’t show it but it ripped his heart in more than two pieces. into many, from the second he was responsible for sasha. he loved them all beyond words, but worse would be if they still stuck beside him. he’s going places he doesn’t want them to follow. ]

If you could help it, I don’t exist here. [ and, a moment that makes his throat feel tight and his heart plunge: ] Please.

She’s not ready and neither am I.

[There's a pause on his end, because boy, this is a lot of unpack. He feels for Eren and he feels for Mikasa, but...this solution doesn't sit right with him]

I won't say anything.

[To make that clear]

But is that really your plan? Pretend you're not here and hope everyone whose ever met you plays along?

Are you planning to ever be ready?

[ yes ]

I don't know when she's from and she smells like fae. I ate the last fae we dreamed about without thinking twice.

Until I figure this out, I can't risk her survival.

Keeping her in the dark won't keep her safe from that, Eren.

What if someone tells her that you're here, and she decides to go looking for you before you're "ready"? She could walk right into a very dangerous situation.

After what I did, I don't think so. Honestly, she's easily capable of killing me.

You don't have the whole picture. At least trust what I gave you.

Edited 2020-02-05 14:56 (UTC)

[Yeah...there's no way that girl's going to kill him, no matter what Eren tells himself]

You don't know that for sure. We went after Crow, even after everything he did.

I don't. But I don't think you have the whole picture either.

[ there’s silence, but only in text. eren reads and rereads and— if she went after him, or they, after everything— he did something wrong. he fucked something up. it’s all a possibility but it’s one that feels like a pitchfork was stabbed into his belly and someone was dragging the rest out mercilessly. himself, maybe.

and now she’s fae, the scent barely there but enough to remind him of the fizzy tang of exoskeleton and liquid between his teeth. he wouldn’t try to eat her if he were lucid enough, the true fae had simply bothered him. but what if he imprisoned her (~~again~~)? what if, what if, what if? he was already following her when she wasn’t looking. his feelings are tangled in a web of possibilities and all he could feel was— what was he feeling?

it wasn’t regret. it wasn’t disdain. ya boi’s simply sad and confused. ]

Did she have a scarf anywhere?

[ change of subject, but important. eren didn’t see one, but he had to be sure it wasn’t resting anywhere after getting drunk on milk. ]

[He can't say he's surprised by Eren's sadness and confusion. Eren liked to think he had handles on situations, but sometimes? That simply wasn't possible. Sure. It was possible that Mikasa might want nothing to do with him again.

But he doubts it. Bonds like that aren't so easily severed.]

She didn't.

Honestly, she was acting like someone who had a break up when we talked about Bonds. Seems like she's refusing to get one. She's looking into alternatives at least, but...

[That's going to be a worry]

I'd be willing to bet she remembers the fight.

[ careful, elliot. not everyone is you. ]

I wouldn’t blame her. [ not when he made it seem like he enslaved her— not that he made that information readily available to elliot. jumbled up words and out of context clues weren’t enough to point to anything solid. ] She’ll come around to it. For now, that’s all I need to know.

[Yeah but that's why he's having Crow spy for him to figure out just that. It's fine. ]

Not sure I'd be so optimistic about that.

But you didn't answer me before, are you going to let her know you're here one day?

[ eren laughs ironically at “optimistic”. he’s dead inside. ]

It’s inevitable.

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