fiddlestick | aefenglom IC Inbox

[.....Ah....

He hadn't brought up his fight with Mikasa to Eren because he didn't want to bother him.]

I'm okay with Jean, but...

Sorry, I don't think Mikasa and me working together would go very well.

I didn't know you two were on talking terms again.

It's still tense. [ expected, not even half of what they need to resolve is resolved, ] I always feel like I don't deserve to be around her but I'm not in any position to be pushing her away anymore.

[ it wouldn't fix the hole he blew open, but . . . he didn't know where it would lead, either. he was tired of snatching every "good" she could have away from her. ]

What happened?

[There's a pause on his end. So Mikasa is trying to work through things with Eren, the guy who was the reason for the rift, while he hasn't heard a peep. Welp, that just says it all, doesn't it? ]

It's not important. I just overestimated our relationship.

[Or rather, how much HE mattered]

I know how much Mikasa means to you, so I really don't want to get you involved.

I was involved from the start, I always would’ve been. I’m sorry, for that.

[ he can’t say for certain if he made a mistake in staying quiet anymore. he needed that time and so did mikasa, but it was true that it caused . . . collateral damage. again. damage to people that had nothing to do with either of their problem.

no, he did make a mistake. it’s about time he accepted that it was, even if it would’ve happened anyway or if it was better or not. ]

I won’t interfere, if that’s what you mean, but what you’re feeling [ he pauses there, even ends up sending the message the way it was before sending the remainder: ] is important to me.

[He stares at that message for a good while, torn about what to say. ]

It's just how it is when you're a healer and a musician. I'm there for really important moments in people lives: weddings, injuries, funerals - you name it. My skills are important for those times, but it's not like I'm important. People will be grateful, sure, but I'm still an outsider to their lives.

Anyway, I slipped up and forgot that. I thought Mikasa and I were friends. So after she found out you were here, I decided to tell her that we were Bonded - because I didn't like the idea of lying to a friend, you know? But...turns out the feeling wasn't mutual, and she made that really clear.

It's my own fault really.

[ eren pieces both together, what’s being said here and what mikasa mentioned, but he still takes longer to respond. ]

That doesn’t make a healer or a musician, Elliot. If you were something else it would’ve been the same, but not because you lack value.

You’re given. You come from a place that allows you to be that way. It’s not your fault or her’s, it’s mine.

[...Ah yep. This is why he didn't want to tell him]

No. You might've been the initial cause, sure, but Mikasa and I are our own people too. Besides, if it was only because of you, it would've been resolved after she started talking to you again. But I haven't heard a word.

And before you say it, I'm not gonna reach out to her. She made it plenty clear she'd use violence if she had to be around me longer. Which I feel bad for hiding things from her, but not THAT bad.

[Elliot "no i'm not a sucker for punishment" Craig]

I made her that way. If she didn’t say anything to you about being lied to, I’ll take that back.

And she broke my nose last time I tried. I’m just [ shrug ] taking what I have to.

[ and he’s 99.9% certain she probably did, because— she wasn’t that way before she didn’t have reason to be. ]

Why would I tell you to do something you don’t want to?

[He types something, the deletes it, then does it a few more times, each time with growing frustration until it finally boils over. ]

Gah- because you've just taken a fight between me and her, disregarded my feelings, and made it all about YOU and her! It's just like she did!

It didn't matter what I said or did, or that I've known her for months completely separate from you. She tossed all that aside in a heartbeat, I watched her do it....our relationship didn't really matter to her.

And at the end, it was my fault for thinking otherwise.

[ and he doesn't want to argue, either. he just— still feels like he caused it all from the start. rather than going further, what's fed into the witch's frustration is submission. rare submission that hates elliot seeing blame in himself or that he's caused a feeling of disregard when trying to preserve it. maybe that just wasn't the way to go. ]

That wasn't my intention, especially when I said what you were feeling was important to me. [ writes something else, deletes it— because it would just be more excuses. and a few seconds after: ] I'm sorry.

[Elliot meanwhile takes a deep breath, the frustration easing away]

It's alright. Maybe you were the catalyst for that fight, but even if you hadn't been an issue, it might've eventually happened anyway over something else.

[Maybe not as dramatically, but still the same]

[ guilt still builds up to an unbearable point that eren needs to put a lid on it. emotion goes damp and distant, but only for him to breath and put his head in the right place. there wasn't fighting fate, he's realized.

there's just one thing that he'd been trying to do indirectly, and it wasn't the best way. he's grateful that elliot couldn't feel him all that much now, because there came a tinge of fear. just a little trickle so easily dismissed when his barricades opens back up as a quiet, trying reach out. ]

You're not pointless to me.

[ maybe that's what he should've expressed from the start instead of trying to transfer the weight of fault to his shoulders. ]

[Oh Eren. He can pick up on those feelings, or lack there of in the bond. ]

I know, and I'm grateful for that. [He really is. He'd be in a darker place if it wasn't for Eren's presence, amazingly.]

Maybe making friends is just a little harder than I expected. I got too used to relying on Class VII being around.

[ there is— an urge now, not raw but this want that was a little distant to latch onto. he stretches for it, nevertheless, reads and rereads and attempts to write something else but in the end, eren settles with: ]

Are you busy?

Hm?

No, not really. I was considering street performing tonight, but not sure I will.

Where are you now?

The Coven. Got off work not long ago.

Okay.

[ that's all, unless otherwise prompted! he's making his way over and looking for him, following an invisible thread laced with scent weaving the halls of the coven castle. eren knew some students, especially miss moore and her puca bonded, saying hello along the way but not actually taking long. he's on a mission. ]

[Following the Bond will lead Eren eventually to the courtyard, the same one they met at. Elliot's leaning against a pillar, idly scrolling through messages on the communicator as he waits for Eren to show.

When he gets close enough, he'll feel it on the bond and look up- giving a little wave as the dragon approaches]

[ there! there he was. something underneath eren's ribs jump when he ultimately decides to pick up his pace, not really bothering to wave as he did. looks like it's urgent, with how his pulse is actually racing in his ears— ]

[Okay that...is not a casual approach. Neutral greetings turns to a little worry as he approaches.]

Er...something wrong?

[ —oh, great the worry has stilted him into some slight anxiety that bleeds through, but not a permanent problem! coming to a stop in front of elliot, he tries to gesture, raises a hand behind his head, then two as fingers and claws scrambled for his long black locks and twirled them into a bun that loosened as soon as he dropped his wingspan— alright.

eren grips the witch between the middle of his arms, the space right before his shoulders and elbow, leans down, lifts elliot some— kisses him, then.

sets him back down. ]

—Not anymore.

[!

Elliot was used to Eren suddenly deciding to come see him, it's just how Eren was. However, never did these sudden meet ups start off like this. He's lifted up easily by Eren, and then he finds lips pressed against him in a kiss.

It's...really surprising, but Elliot doesn't think twice before he kisses back, living in the moment. It's only when he's set back down does the bond start to share a feeling of confusion. But...it's a happy confusion. He liked it, clearly]

Aha... not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?

Edited 2020-08-14 15:01 (UTC)

I— [ he didn't think he'd get asked, in fact, he didn't really consider anything after the fact and nearly draws a blank. there was only one explanation that eren finds as he wets his lips from aftertaste and looks down. ] Felt like it.

[Ah, this was another one of Eren's impulses huh? Well, Elliot didn't really mind. If anything...it made him happy, that Eren tracked him down to kiss him just because he felt like it. ]

Hehe, fair enough.

[But if they are doing things they felt like...then Elliot's going to respond in kind. Wrapping his arms around his waist, just below the wings, he'll lean close enough to rest his head against Eren's chest. His eyes are closed, and there's a fond smile on his face]

I'm really lucky to have met you. I wouldn't trade our time together for the world.

[The words were sincere, heartfelt.]

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