aefenglom | Trails of Group Chat

[fiddlestick]

Zemurian Chat

Current Members


Former



Video | Text | Voice | Action

Comments

action; a couple days after the Feral Episode (so like, 8/28)

[eightleaves]

[Rean has been back from solitary confinement for a little while, and he's had some time to settle down. He's sporting a new bracelet of the magical variety, a token from the Coven that he'd asked for after he got the scolding of his life. He's been quiet, even moreso than usual, and not just because he's recovering from getting the shit kicked out of him but because he has a lot to say and he doesn't know how to say it.

Once he's steeled himself and everyone has time, he calls for a house meeting. This house meeting also includes invitations to Lloyd and Randy, even if they aren't actually part of Thors. They deserve an apology, too. They all do.

Rean at least has the brains to set out some tea and juice for people to drink at the table they're all gathered around. He wants everything to be comfortable even if this is going to be difficult to talk about.]

Thanks for coming. I wanted to apologize again for everything that happened. And for hurting you. It was completely and utterly preventable. [His hands ball at his sides. He should sit down but he doesn't. He needs to stand for this.] You warned me, a couple of you several times but I just... couldn't get the bond thing to work. I didn't reach out for help when I needed it. I feel like I could apologize for a week straight and it wouldn't be enough.

I should thank you, too, for helping me-- for stopping me before I could kill anyone. Things would be much, much worse if you guys hadn't intervened.

[He takes a deep breath.]

But I didn't call everyone together so I could go on and on about that. I called you here because I want to make sure this never happens again, and I think... I think the best way to do it is to talk about something that happened back home.

It's time for me to talk about what happened in North Ambria.

[He looks a little nervous, now, his fingertips twitching beneath his sleeves, talons catching the hems. He goes on anyway.]

As you know, the military gave me orders monthly while I was juggling academy classes. The final one I received-- the one I had not long before I got here-- sent me to Ambria in search of the jaegers that destroyed Celdic. That was just one reason for annexing the province, I'm sure. [The disdain in his voice is palpable.] ... It was never meant to be a fair fight. General Aurelia went in with a specialized force to crush all opposition, and it wasn't long before the jaegers were suppressed despite being able to summon archaisms.

Or... that's what we thought.

[His dark eyes fall to the table and to the water he hasn't touched.]

A bunch of us were working together to secure the capital and evacuate the citizens because of how bad the fighting got. But before we could finish, the jaegers unleashed thousands-- thousands of archaisms on the city. It was-- [His voice falters. He tries again, softer, his voice trembling at the edges.] It was a slaughter like I would never have imagined-- the kind of thing you only read about.

That's when I completely lost control of myself. My other self came out, and I summoned Valimar at the same time, and... all I remember is being surrounded by archaisms. [He looks at his hands, his shiny black claws.] When I woke up, the occupation was already over. In the end I didn't help anyone.

I haven't used my power since-- and I'm sure it's why I've been resisting the transformation. I can't trust myself to let go of that form when I'm in it, and I can't trust myself to keep my own mind when I'm like this. That's... all I've been thinking about since I got here, since I found out about being a Monster. And all of those fears came true a couple nights ago.

If I'm constantly afraid of myself, nothing will change and this will just keep happening. I'll keep hurting people. That's-- not an option. That isn't what I want.

We're all in this together. And with the way things are headed, we can't afford to hesitate.

[overworker]

[Towa holds a cup of tea between her hands, a few times her gaze drops and she watches it ripple when her hands shake. They couldn't have known, yet she can't help but feel like they-- like she-- should have tried harder, knowing that Rean had been suffering through those feelings alone. But... thinking like that won't accomplish anything now.

She sets down the cup gently and stands, carefully stepping around the table.]

Rean...

[Green eyes look up at him with a piercing clarity. It seems very likely a lecture is coming-- but then he might have expected that much. But before that comes, she pushes herself up on her tiptoes and hugs him tightly; with all the strength her tiny arms can manage. This... this is far more important than the words that will, ultimately, come.]

You don't owe me an apology. In fact... if you have to apologize, I'd rather see you use it to apologize to yourself. I won't stand for anyone being so unkind to my friend-- not even you, yourself.

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot hadn't been among the people who got attacked the other night. He'd been away with a friend, only to come later when he noticed messages on his communicator, and all there was to do was heal people. Since then, he's been fretting about Rean. Never angry with him, but worried.

As Rean says his piece, Elliot listens. It's horrifying. He'd heard bits and pieces about North Ambria through the news, but none of the details like this got through. To think his dear friend had to go through all that on his own...]

...I don't know what to say...

[Were the first words that came to him, because what is there to say to that? It's upsetting to hear, and it hurts to imagine Rean dealing with that.

But he knows he should say something. ]

After something like that, it's no wonder you've been scared of becoming a monster here. Anyone would be.