fiddlestick | Kaisou: Class VII Group Chat

[He just sighs]

Blame my dad. He has some interesting ideas for what makes a good vacation.

[But now's not the time to get into his daddy issues (this is Jusis's month for that!)]

The Beach? Gah, it's gonna be cold and sand will get everywhere- [SIIIIGHS. He'll suck it up for Jusis]

-- Nevermind, we'll keep an eye on it. Ash, you three just do your best to take care? No sense in all of us getting hypothermia. I promise we'll keep you up to date the second we see something.

[Olaf Craig what the fuck.

Anyway.]

We'll try. I'll let you guys know what the rest of us stationed here figure out or if I see anythin' weird. Pretty sure none of us are going to school tomorrow, so Albarea gets to write those excuse notes when we get his ass outta wherever the fuck he is.

[Rean has been asking that question for several years with little in the ways of answers, Ash. Some things, we must simply Accept.]

Listen, I'm not happy about it either, but I don't feel comfortable just sitting around and waiting for news. You don't have to come along for this part if you don't want to, though, Elliot. I completely understand.

[There's a little more rustling.]

I'm pretty sure we still have the tent my family sent down, though. Where is it? ...Maybe with the old coats and stuff...?

[He's just talking to himself at this point, feel free to ignore him. Although why his family felt it necessary to ship him a tent and coats is another question, here.]

Basement hall closet next to the spare knife box, dear. [He says it so casually] And of course I'm coming along! Just doesn't mean I have to be happy about it...

[But no way he's staying behind on this one]

And please Ash, don't worry about that. I'm used to getting kids excused absences for supernatural stuff. I'll just say the three of you came down with a case of head lice from your RV.

Oh come on, use somethin' more believable! Food poisoning!

[Also--]

Okay, why the hell do you have a spare knife box? Is that a box of spare knives or somethin'?

Oh! Okay, thanks. ...Think I'll still bring up some of these old coats, though. If we're going to be doing this, we should at least keep warm.

[As for the question, he responds like this is totally normal:]

I mean, yeah. Who knows when you're going to need more knives, you know?

[...Rean may have a blade problem. It's fine.]

Food poisoning clears up in a day or two though. This will give you a week! [...] Also, it's totally believable.

[THAT RV SIR

Rean answered that question, so he just makes a sound of agreement]

Good thinking. If nothing else, it'd be good to have spares in case someone else gets the same idea and isn't as prepared. [...!] Oh, I'll pack any food and drink we'll need!

One, my RV is clean thank you very much. Two, why do you have so many knives you need a box for the extra?!

Listen...! My dad's really into hunting, and while I'm not so much for the actual hunting part, I can appreciate the craftsmanship of the tools!

[ ??? ]

Why wouldn't you have a spare knife box? My family always had lots of knives on hand.

[Again, welcome to the Craigs]

Most people don't keep that many knives around! Not even the gangs I ran with back in Germany kept that many knives around!

That sounds like a them problem.

[REAN.]

Good idea on the food and such, though, Elliot. Probably ought to make a little extra just in case there are other people there.

Hehe, yeah. Maybe for your birthday we can get you some knives so you can start your own box!

[Because that's the problem here????]

Alright, I can do that! Oh, and maybe you can do some fishing.

I have a switchblade. I don't need any more knives! Please tell me you have a fuckin' camping stove or something and not just knives.

I dunno, that sounds like a severe lack of knives to me!

[Is he joking? It's unclear.]

Yes, we have a camping stove. Trust me, my family was more than happy to outfit me with everything I needed to camp once I was in here and not constrained by dorm rules. Something about "you can't live that close to a park that beautiful and not go camping!" I tried to tell them Elliot and I weren't all that interested, but, here we are.

[HOLD UP DID SOMEONE SAY FISHING]

—! You're right! I'll have to pack up my gear, too.

[He snorts] Yeah, seriously. Switchblades are good but you shouldn't use it for everything. That's a great way to damage the blade.

[So you need more knives!!]

That's right. Meanwhile my Dad made me do wilderness survival training a lot when I was growing up. I hated it the entire time, but the lessons did stick.

Rean and I have even gone camping before! Remember that summer trip on the Appalchia trails?

If I'm usin' a knife, all it's gotta do is stab or cut somebody.

[Why are you two LIKE THIS.]

Didn't Albarea say Appalachia was haunted as fuck or something?

Yeah, but certain blades are more efficient for certain tasks. Just like you wouldn't use a butterknife to cut a steak, as an example.

[And while Ash never voiced the question of why they're like this, Rean certainly has an answer!]

I don't remember actually seeing any hauntings up there, but I do remember your older sister telling us stories. [He laughs a little.] Freaked out Elise something awful.

And, well, even if that were a thing our parents knew about... I mean, Elliot's dad thought it was a great idea to take the family to Alcatraz and my dad was good friends with him, so...

And you should be careful if you're stabbing someone with that. If it hits a bone at a certain angle, it could break!

[This has been brought to you by "Disturbing things Elliot somehow knows"]

Oh yeah, I remember that. Poor Elise barely slept a wink that night. And can't lie, it kinda freaked us out a little too...even if neither of us wanted to admit it.

And pretty much. Dad usually saw the scary things people try to shield kids from as "teaching moments" for us. [A sheepish laugh of someone whose been in therapy for years] I-It had mixed results.

Think I know the answer to this but is anyone in this group chat okay?

Asks the one who ran with gangs in Germany and says he only needs knives to cut or stab people.

Which is to say, no. Absolutely not.

[There is the sound of Elliot holding back chuckle]

Y-Yeah, what Rean said....

At least I don't got a spare knife box.

Well, when the time comes when you inevitably need more knives, we'll just see who you go running to. ♪

That's right! The Schwarzer-Craig Knife Emporium will be here for you!

Oh yeah before I forget, do you three got enough for dinner tonight?

(no subject)

switchaxe - 2023-04-03 21:16 (UTC) - Expand