[oof. You ever have one of those moments where you realize immediately you put your foot in your mouth? That's Elliot right now. He instantly feels bad for hurting Rean as soon as he reads the message.
Ironic, given that Ash was just expressing his fears of hurting Fugo. ]
Rean...
Crap, I really put my foot in my mouth again.
I'm sorry. You're right. I know your feelings for me aren't shallow. I just got caught up in the moment and ran my mouth off. The selkie remark really was more of a joke...but I shouldn't have said that.
[He pauses]
And just so you know? Even if it had never fully "clicked" for you...I would've been fine with that. I mean I really enjoy our moments of intimacy now, don't get me wrong! But...I had decided a long time ago that as long as I was at your side, even if it was just as a friend, that'd be enough to make me happy.
Edited (changing it because indecisiveness man) 2023-04-26 06:00 (UTC)
I feel the same way, though. I've been blessed enough to know you for two lifetimes, and for both of them, my happiest memories all involve you. I would never give that up for the world.
You've always been one of the most important people in my life. My light, even. I've always loved you, so maybe that's why it took so long to finally click... loving you is just the easiest, most natural thing there is, after all.
[Now it's Rean's turn to pause.]
Haha. Am I gonna get a comment about sap overload, again?
And no, it's okay. Seems to me like Ash is having some fun getting to mess with me, and if it's making him feel better about all this, I'm happy to take an L.
That said - I don't know Fugo that well, but given everything that's been said about him? I wouldn't be surprised if Fugo went for it. And if he does, I just hope Ash doesn't shut him down.
My guess with Ash is that he's going to think about doing it. He might even almost go for it. But right before the finish line, he's going to stop dead and pretend it never happened, because his worry is going to win out.
I hope I'm wrong about that, but... that's my gut instinct.
Haha, I figured as much. He's close with Ash, after all. He has to have some resilience to him.
And I hope that resilience wins out. I think they could make each other happy if Ash let it happen, and I want that for both of them.
It's sad when you describe that way...but I don't think you're wrong. Ash does seem to hold himself back a lot when it comes to connecting with people.
[Sure not everyone can be as sappy as Elliot and Rean, but it really does feel like Ash is scared of genuine connection. ]
I want it for both of them too. They're good kids, even if they're rough around the edges. They deserve to have something in their lives to go right.
I can't blame him. I think I'd probably feel pretty similarly if I were in his shoes.
"I can't let anyone close, what if I hurt them? I can't trust myself, so it's better to just keep people away." That's what I'd be thinking, anyway.
But you're right. They deserve happiness. So... we'll just have to do our best to keep rooting for them from the sidelines, and support them along the way. Right, "Mom?"
I suppose so...it's still sad to think about. It must be so lonely. [...] Hey, if you ever get a dangerous curse, please don't feel like you have to distance from me, okay? We'll figure out something, I promise.
Man, I am glad this is over text. I shudder to think of the field day the others would have with me if they could see how red I must be right now, haha...
PRIVATE
Ironic, given that Ash was just expressing his fears of hurting Fugo. ]
Rean...
Crap, I really put my foot in my mouth again.
I'm sorry. You're right. I know your feelings for me aren't shallow. I just got caught up in the moment and ran my mouth off. The selkie remark really was more of a joke...but I shouldn't have said that.
[He pauses]
And just so you know? Even if it had never fully "clicked" for you...I would've been fine with that. I mean I really enjoy our moments of intimacy now, don't get me wrong! But...I had decided a long time ago that as long as I was at your side, even if it was just as a friend, that'd be enough to make me happy.
Re: PRIVATE
I feel the same way, though. I've been blessed enough to know you for two lifetimes, and for both of them, my happiest memories all involve you. I would never give that up for the world.
You've always been one of the most important people in my life. My light, even. I've always loved you, so maybe that's why it took so long to finally click... loving you is just the easiest, most natural thing there is, after all.
[Now it's Rean's turn to pause.]
Haha. Am I gonna get a comment about sap overload, again?
PRIVATE
Eheh, I'll let it slide this time. I'm the one in the dog house after all.
I love you too, Rean. Fully and completely. And really, I'm sorry. Do you want me to clear the air with the other two?
no subject
I kid, I kid.
And no, it's okay. Seems to me like Ash is having some fun getting to mess with me, and if it's making him feel better about all this, I'm happy to take an L.
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But okay. Still, how about I order us something from Wanmin's and let you pick what we watch tonight?
Your boyfriend feels guilty, take advantage of it.
no subject
Oh, I like this plan! Perhaps a rewatch of some Studio Venti movies is in order...
no subject
Sure, we can watch those. Human or cat cuddling?
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AGAIN THIS IS PRIVATE
So do what do you think? Think Ash's gonna go for it with Fugo?
no subject
Honestly? No.
That said - I don't know Fugo that well, but given everything that's been said about him? I wouldn't be surprised if Fugo went for it. And if he does, I just hope Ash doesn't shut him down.
no subject
Fugo's a pretty quiet kid, but he's got a fire underneath. I could see him pushing for something.
It's just a question of whose stubbornness will win out: Ash or Fugo.
no subject
I hope I'm wrong about that, but... that's my gut instinct.
Haha, I figured as much. He's close with Ash, after all. He has to have some resilience to him.
And I hope that resilience wins out. I think they could make each other happy if Ash let it happen, and I want that for both of them.
no subject
[Sure not everyone can be as sappy as Elliot and Rean, but it really does feel like Ash is scared of genuine connection. ]
I want it for both of them too. They're good kids, even if they're rough around the edges. They deserve to have something in their lives to go right.
no subject
"I can't let anyone close, what if I hurt them? I can't trust myself, so it's better to just keep people away." That's what I'd be thinking, anyway.
But you're right. They deserve happiness. So... we'll just have to do our best to keep rooting for them from the sidelines, and support them along the way. Right, "Mom?"
no subject
[BUT THAT NICKNAME...]
...That's not going to stick is it?
no subject
Same goes to you, okay? We're both stronger together than we are apart.
[As for the nickname:]
God, no! Haha. But if we're playing surrogate parents, here, you said it yourself: you're definitely the mom friend.
no subject
[Oh thank goodness]
Heheh, well okay guilty as charge there. But hey for what it's worth? I think you'd make a wonderful dad.
no subject
aaaaa]
Really? You mean it?
Man, I am glad this is over text. I shudder to think of the field day the others would have with me if they could see how red I must be right now, haha...
no subject
Heheh, yeah, Ash would definitely tease you about that. Jusis might have a chortle.