fiddlestick | aefenglom IC Inbox

[ it might take another day for eren to come around— the day after the true moon was still full moon, and oddly enough he just felt completely drained. his head pounds from the hits they took from challenging ack to a horn brawl (which dragons weren’t made for, rams were), and just. hangover, he has a monster hangover.

the festival would start in . . . perhaps two days, he slept a lot and he’s just sort of lost in the week. he’ll use the time to regain himself, his discipline and places he had to visit, things he had to do, people he had to see and tasks to complete snooping to be had. the first place he’s decided to visit without a watch warning, are the barracks. he knows full well how elliot smells like—

and honestly, he’s worried about him. that night was fiery, happened fast, as it was . . . purely, purely carnal. it felt odd, to leave a first time together like that, for reasons he’d get to verbally. his tongue flicking doesn’t come to a halt even after he’s pinpointed the scent, just to be sure (out of growing habit because he doesn’t actually need it, he could feel the presence in their bond thinning distance). when its as if he’s right next to him scurrying from a corner, eren’s heart jumps— he swears he thought he’d run right into him, and freezes.

but he doesn’t. a bright head of ginger hair strikes him with color, and there he stands. now he’s the one, at least for a second, who’s the lizard in headlights.

he’s saying hello from afar, and assessing if it’s okay to approach. ]

[ Well, it's safe to say the full moon hadn't gone down in any way that Elliot had expected. His magic had become weaker instead of stronger, which seemed contrary to everything the Coven had expected. His magic seemed to be going back to normal now that the full moon was over, but it was yet another mystery to be worried about.

And on top of that...there'd been his time with Eren. He really hadn't expected it to go the way it did. The following days while Eren rested, Elliot spent time sorting things out. He asked the Coven if there was anything to be worried about. After a couple examinations it was concluded there wasn't. He just had a naturally high aptitude for Bonds and it probably wasn't the wisest choice to start his very first Bond right before a full moon with a dragon in the mating season. It was ironic that the same trait that got him into Class VII was the same that got him into this, but it was nothing that couldn't be handled with time and practice.

Those concerns out of the way, it was a matter of the emotional side. It was hard to wrap his head around it. He wanted to talk to Eren, but it was pretty easy to tell Eren was deeply sleeping in the bond. Probably some...dragon hibernation thing. He has no choice but to table things aside from thinking things through himself.

At least a few days later until he feels a familiar tug on the bond. Eren was awake, and moving closer. When it becomes clear that Eren is in the barracks, Elliot will step out of his room and wait for him.

While Eren freezes like a lizard in the headlights, Elliot will approach him. He's a little nervous about what to say, but he'll at least handle this part better than our draconic friend]

Hey Eren.

Here to see me, or...?

[he's pretty sure he picked up the intentions to see him through the bond, but...well, anxiety always dictates that he's reading too much into it so one can never be sure]

[ okay, so at least— there’s a nod coming from these headbobs eventually. or was he just nodding this entire time? don’t ask kaede. eren expresses a yeah with a more curt grunt, but he’s . . . mm. not quite nervous, but, he’s feeling something. ]

You don’t have to second guess yourself.

[ it’s exactly what he’s here for. He wouldn’t be in the barracks, in this spot for anything else. it’s okay to approach, he’s being shown, so he does. his demeanor is nothing like the hedge maze, for starters. he’s still prone to intimacy, but— he had enough eren in mind to handle self far better.

believe him. when experienced monsters at the coven told him he had a summer mating season was the most mind blowing thing he’s heard next to humanity has not perished. ]

Got a minute?

J-Just making sure! I don't get many visitors.

[Most of the people he did know, he saw in class or just around town. It wasn't like he thought his room in the barracks was worth inviting anyone to.

He can tell that Eren's demeanor seems different. A little awkward, but more like the guy before the full moon. And the awkward...well, it was understandable, all things considered]

Yeah... I-I was hoping to talk to you actually. Wanna come in?

[He gestures to the open door that led to his room. Inside, it was well a very standard barrack bedroom. There's a few instruments (the violin he bought secondhand, a pile of recorders from failed conjuring attempts), some clothes, his staff, and a single vase of flowers Elliot was using as an attempt to spruce up the place. Other than that, it looks like Elliot hasn't done much at all to personalize it.]

[ not all your visitors are bonded, my dude, my sweet summer child who certainly could use a self confidence boost. ]

Thanks.

[ for letting him into his space, of course, nodding and entering. his tongue goes on a fairly habitual mapping spree, smelling this and tasting that without putting his hands on anything that isn’t his. It’s better decorated than anything eren would do or was used to (apart from mikleo’s insane amount of plants, but he can’t judge when he keeps sharp objects in a corkscrew hole under a cottage). he doubletakes, and immediately, slit lizard pupils hone in on a relevant instrument: the violin. ]

—You found one.

[ he’s not immediately changing the subject, just— making sure he doesn’t ignore another one they talked about on the first day they met. important things!! ]

[he closes the door after Eren comes in, to give them some privacy. His own thoughts were so occupied with how this talk would go, he doesn't notice Eren looking around his room until he speaks up]

Hm? [He looks, seeing that Eren is looking at the violin] - Oh, yeah!

[He can't help it, his tone brightens automatically, talking about his violin]

I got lucky and found it in a secondhand store. It's a big relief.

[he clasps his hands together] I promised to play you a song, didn't I? Remind me to do that later.

[ !!!! later, is good. eren agrees with no quarrel, and now . . . what he actually came here for. he inhales, not too sharp, but he does hold his breath for a moment, look around, then find a place to sit. the bed, the floor, a chair, it didn’t really matter. as long as they had a place to settle the slight tension he was feeling on his shoulders. that he’s silently denying exists. ]

Deal.

[ breathe out. alright. he’s not going to run around in circles here, neither is he going to waste time explaining he doesn’t really do that when it’s. sort of obvious he doesn’t. ]

About Full Moon— I have a heat season until August. [ he. feels like he needs to let him know that. if you ask him are you horny now he’ll probably admit yeah a little, but there’s nothing compared to the blow out of full moon. he can just pleasure himself and it’ll be manageable. either way, there’s more. eren spends a moment or so massaging the bridge of his nose, before it slides up and idly past the curve of his horns. ] . . . I’m worried about how you feel.

[ eren admits, rather easily. it was obvious it felt good, but emotionally— mm. he wasn’t the type to sleep around, neither would he use people just for himself. it was a sacred moment in the sense that he exposed his intimacy and vice versa, and that alone was select to, right now, the only people who connect to him the most: his bonded.

but with elliot it still . . . felt like he pounced over a flight of stairs just to satiate desire and it didn’t feel right to leave at that. eren’s eyes are sincere as his feelings are: he isn’t lying about being worried about the other’s feelings. ]

I don’t regret a second of it. [ that’s when the scales of his cheeks flush a little scarlet, against charcoal. he ducks his head a little awkwardly, but raises eye contact again. this was important. ] But feeling used or interchangeable is the last thing I want. And the one thing I’ll regret.

[ he wasn’t just some. piece of meat he could cook up and dine whenever he felt like it. he was a person and he needed respect. eren just can’t shake off the feeling that at some point, he could’ve— expressed that, as accidental as it was, lizard brain is very direct in what it wants and it may not translate the same way to human brain. he isn’t remorseful, again, but, if elliot feels like trash because of him, man.

no need for any more regrets, his plate is full for a lifetime here. ]

[There's a chair at the desk. Meanwhile, Elliot will sit on the edge of the bed. Right, no more talking about music. They had to address the actual elephant in the room.

So quietly, Elliot will hear Eren out. He's not sure what to expect, this is new territory for him. But ... hearing his words? Really touched Elliot. Eren was worried about him, and his feelings. He had come all this way just to check on him. It hit home right then that he'd made the right choice with his Bond. Eren was a good person.

He'll address the heat season in a bit. The coven had already told him, after the fact. So it doesn't come as a big surprise.]

...I don't feel used. [he says sincerely] I mean, I admit I didn't expect my first time to happen like that, but...

[He moves a lock of hair behind his ear nervously. He looks at Eren with a worried expression]

If anything, I've been worried about you. And if what happened is what you wanted. I mean...I promised to help get you through the full moon and keep you in check. I thought I'd be able to handle it because I'm used to Combat Links, but it turns out the thing that makes me good at those is what made ... well, that happen.

[How quickly he went along with the heat, how it completely overrode any sense of reason. He'd always felt attraction towards Eren, many of those feelings that night had been his own. But had he taken more time to prepare, maybe he could've shown some restraint.]

I mean to say ... I don't regret what happened, but ... only if you don't either.

[Not just the dragon part, looking to satisfy the need. Eren was still a person, separate from that. He didn't want him hating himself the morning after a full moon.]

Edited 2019-06-28 14:39 (UTC)

[ the elephant is huge, and pink, and it has a guy faux mask on.

hearing him say first time, honest to all gods living, has eren’s heart skip up and his gut drop the way it would on rollercoasters, all emotionally palpable to his bonded. his. first time, wow— not that eren was far ahead of him; he’d been his second person, a few ways down the act at this point, but . . . still. it makes what he feels all the more dire.

but things start to sort of . . . fit into place. this hadn’t only been eren, they both influenced themselves into a delightful crash course none of them had expected. bonds are never one sided, and, with that, the thought clicks into the empty space of eren’s realization. oh.

feelings that were only budding were amplified, then amplified again until they were on the floor and burning their clothes off. ]

Of— no, I don’t. [ he wouldn’t. he’d never— ] I . . . Like, you.

[ he god damn said it like some teenager just understanding what was meant by it or what he could mean by that, and his scales burn just as red as his ears do. he swallows tightly, almost too much. why was he so— flustered, all of a sudden? he’s doing this all backwards, it was almost crazy. ]

We’re bonded . . . I’d let it flow, from here. [ no strings attached, ] But I still— want to know you more. Like I said I would.

[ in the outskirts beyond the wall, where they decided a bond was a good idea. especially out of understanding. but, there you have it: i liked sleeping with you, i’m pretty sure i like you, and you like me, and i’d like to do more at a naturally easy pace, thanks for listening, i’m a nerd, did i say i liked you yet ]

[Ah yep, that sure is an emotional roller coaster he picks up when he mentions it was his first time. Maybe he should've left that tidbit out, but there was no point in denying it either.

Those words...clumsy as they may be, have more of an impact than any of the sex he's had this past week. It's so...pure, and meaningful. So much so, that he feels a tiny drop of worry. Because he knows...the feeling is mutual. In fact, it made him happy to hear it. He liked Eren too. He liked him a lot. Which was a scary prospect when he was so determined to find his way home.

An idle thought warns him that this was dangerous. One day he has to go home and he already knows how much losing someone he cares for hurts. But...it's not a thought he can bring himself to act on. Loss hurts, but the past few weeks have shown him how much loneliness can hurt too. Being with Eren...it was easier to deal with that pain.

So instead of pulling away, he finds himself admitting to it.]

I....I like you. And I'd like to know you more too.

[His own cheeks are red when he says it. There's enough sentiment in the bond to know that he means it. ]

And...And I'd be happy to help you through your heat again. I'll work on getting used to the Bond so it doesn't become so...overwhelming again.

[ worry invades eren’s thoughts and his eyes lift to them, and while he could be . . . plenty dense, feeling one’s own feelings was helpful. maybe he’d feel the same way, if things were different. if he actually had something long to look forward to and something stabilizing like any old life, but—

there’s a special sort of detachment to his companionship, the kind that is still warm rather than touched with coldness. eren could like, love unconditionally, and still finds himself free.

he’ll miss the people he’ll have to leave here one day, but then again he’ll have to leave all his dearest one day. is that the way he should go about it? perhaps . . . and also if it were mutual. ]

Don’t think of it as help. Just . . . Let things flow. [ they’ll find their way around it, and themselves, naturally. but, with something else to attend to now . . . ] You’re worried.

[ he just doesn’t know . . . how else to address it, and he doesn’t want to make assumptions. he could see the color— he just cant make out the shape. ]

Ah...right. You can feel that.

[That is still something he's getting used to with the Bond. Combat Links could pick up emotions here and there, but it wasn't this strong. He didn't have many things to hide, but having someone know everything you're feeling is still something anyone would have to get used to.

Not to mention, he feels a bit bad saying it. "I'm worried about saying goodbye" when he knows Eren's time is much more limited feels so...small and privileged. ]

I-It's nothing, really. It's... [He tries to think about how to talk about it. But it meant talking about Crow to someone who didn't know him and...]

...I'm sorry, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. It's really just overthinking things. I do that a lot.

[ good. in the sense that, he told him not ready to talk about it instead of going with his first option, it’s nothing. eren’s head dips, acknowledging the choice in a curt but slowly placed nod, before his attention drifts to his hands, fingers covering fingers.

so, reciprocated feelings, and if he read right, reciprocated interest to feed their fondness if it feels correct to. eren pulls his chair closer to elliot in a rattle, sitting in front of him for better proximity. he’s just— unsure, about words and feelings adding up. there was still worry, regardless of overthinking. ]

Do what you’ll regret less, or not at all, from here on out.

[ not just counting the night they had, but— you, know, everything forward. taking care of the bond itself, which grows strong when given heart, contact, everything they need to stand, survive, and not lose themselves. it’s not as if he’ll want to end their bond if they won’t have intimacy, but, boundaries, and that’ll reflect easily on the relationship until it wanes. especially if they deny themselves. alas, this was a tough subject to tread across, because he knew what it was.

he’s firm in his choice, but respectable to the other’s. ]

I’ll be alright, either way. That’s what Bonds are for me. [ he holds his hand out, palm up. it’s a small gesture, chaste and probably rather generic to anything that could be intimate— but that’s exactly the point. he won’t push for anything that leaves a strain. his vows are . . . really loud, here. he knows he doesn’t have to repeat them, but the energy is still the same. ] Accepting each other for who we are.

[ i wasn’t going to say it, but i will: you are free. ]

["Accepting each other for who we are"

Eren had said something similar during the bonding ceremony, but it was still reassuring and touching all the same. Eren was a good man. In a different world, he could see him fitting in with the rest of Class VII -- the others who accepted Elliot for who he was.

"Do what you'll regret less, or not at all, from here on out". It was...a simple philosophy, basic even. But it was effective. Sometimes simplicity is what he needed to cut through the nerves in his head.]

"We are free", right? [He says, reciting Eren's vows. Yes. He remembered them.

Seeing Eren's hand out, it does make him realize one thing he'd like to do. Gently, he'll take that hand, wrapping his small fingers around a much bigger hand. He pulls the hand towards him, as if indicating he wants Eren to follow him onto the bed]

...Lay with me as we talk? I think I'd regret if the only time we really touch was like that night.

[Primal, rushed, and rough. He didn't regret that night, but Elliot had too many soft edges to only be like that. This might lead to more, he doesn't know. But right now, he has more he wants to say to Eren and had that desire to be close to him as well.

So in other words, it's cuddling time ✨ ]

Edited 2019-07-01 13:07 (UTC)

[ ah that’s . . . that’s really all he needs. eren’s cheeks are burning a deeper color under the redness of his scales, but it isn’t accompanied with furrowed brows. if anything, there’s a smallest skips in his chest that works its way into a tumble in his gut, the kind that makes his lips curve and his teeth poke into them, enough that he has to adjust before he ends up biting himself, following onto the softer surface and laying his side down right in front of elliot’s. ]

I prefer it.

[ another bit of admittance, it’s not like he’d just stop being honest after making himself clear earlier, of all thing!

he doesn’t let go of his hand for one, and takes note of the feeling of the other’s palm pressed into his fingers. they’re . . . soft, taken care of, delicate and thin but highly skilled with the way they define so cleanly. ]

Musician hands?

[ he’s getting eater at telling the difference. ]

[Elliot's own heart skips a beat too when Eren agrees and moves onto the bed with him. His cheeks are pink from blush, but something felt right when Eren laid next to him. Elliot, lying on his side as well, cuddled up close. His leg moved over to intertwine with his Bond's]

Yeah, that's right. [He wiggles a couple fingers to show off the callouses on the tip] Got these callouses playing instruments.

[It was a point of pride for some musicians, to have such callouses. It meant they worked hard at their trade, and now could handle it better than others.

There's a pause, before he finally admits the off-topic truth]

While you were sleeping ... I slept with Mikleo. Just so you know.

[There is freedom and there is the allowance of doing what your partner wants- but then there is hiding things behind their back]

[ this is. plenty good. very good. eren only shifts his hips some to accommodate, but the rest is left the way it is. his hold goes to elliot’s fingers to inspect them with more closeness. you know, this reminds him of when he was a few years younger— he couldn’t get callouses. it was a suppressed sort of jealousy compared to his comrades.

he about to mention it, but that more than stops him like a screeching record. eren’s expression is one of soft surprise. oh, wow, that’s.

sugoi . . . .

there go his scales again, ah this was not a good idea elliot! his imagination is so colorful during his heat season, god damn. it makes his neck and ears burn as heat rises with the color, and a mild huff of what was like a realizing chuckle escapes through his fangs. oh, his night makes sense now. he knew he felt something and it was—

well, he had a fantastic time with himself while they up and done it. ]

I wasn’t sleeping, then. [ this is ten sugoi actually. there’s not a trace of upset in him, just. quite a bit of the opposite. his fingers curl around elliot’s a little firmer now, and his legs rub, at least once. ]

Y-You weren't?

[Surprise dawns on his face very clearly. Truth be told, the entire time it had gone down he hadn't thought about how it'd affect his bond. Eren had been asleep as far as he knew, and Mikleo was right there and that spiced drink was gasoline on the flame he'd already held for the guy.

He should feel mortified, and maybe a little of him did, but he can feel that reaction from Eren. It felt like a milder version of what he felt the other night with him. He finds himself swallowing, blush reaching his cheeks as he dares himself to ask]

W-What...What were you doing?

[ oh boy, here we go? here we go. eren breathes in, holds his inhale for a moment (not because he's nervous, just, well, it's not something all that casual), then quietly breathes out from the nose. warm air should tickle elliot's face, and eren's tongue wets his lips for the smell close to him. ]

Going . . . Solo. [ he god damn said it, there ] Twice.

[ and oddly enough: he's right on the money. they had two rounds at it, didn't they! ]

[Elliot's eyes widen in surprise at Eren's confession. Because yeah, Eren was right on the money. They had done it twice. ]

Twice? T-That's...

[The Bond was strong enough to affect Eren that like that. Sure, that was basically what happened on the night of the full moon. They had fed on each other's lust until they were out of control. But to have it happen when Eren wasn't even near him, and when Elliot had been with someone else...

His cheeks burn with blush. A realization sinks in. ]

...Since we've bonded, it's been, um, easier to get horny. Sometimes enough to even go...solo too.

Those times, it must've been... [Whenever Eren was getting hot and heavy with someone]

[ . . . yeah. they were doing it. it could’ve been, as it couldn’t have, but knowing mikleo and knowing elliot, he’s almost sure he doesn’t need more evidence. there’s a subtle smile there on his lips— not quite a full smile and not a flat lined purse, either. elliot’s cheeks are pink and he could almost feel how heated they are from here, bringing a hand up to glide his finger down them and rest there. ]

Probably. [ they did it a lot. as for him telling him . . . hopefully he could sweep off any worries on his shoulders that would have been there. ] Were you worried?

[The pink on his cheeks get a little brighter as Eren touches them. Without really thinking about it, he tilts his head towards that hand, so he can get more of that touch. ]

...Not really. We're free, like you said. [It's a truthful answer, and pretty profound considering how much Elliot did worry.] I mean, maybe I was a little before the full moon, but after that and the time with Mikleo...

[He had a better understanding what it meant to have sex, especially in this world. While still a personal thing, not something he'd do with just anyone, it wasn't as big a deal anymore. And if Eren was fine with them sleeping with other people, then there wasn't anything to worry about.]

J-Just...try not to get it on while I'm in class? It's hard enough to learn magic without getting hot and horny during lectures.

[ a deep chuckle comes from eren that sounds a lot more like a gruff sigh. he never outright laughs, unfortunately. not in this life, but the smile is enough to shed light on his feelings. ]

I work during the day. So do my bonds. [ elliot and mikleo, which, while it does slip under the radar (with no true intention of doing so), eh. nbd. he thumbs the other’s deep colored cheeks, warm to the touch of his fingertips and gliding . . . just a bit more to his lips. agh, his chest is skipping. ] My season doesn’t work like that, I think.

[ he has some self control now come on ]

[Even if Eren doesn't give a full on laugh, that smile is enough to warm Elliot's heart. Affectionately, he'll smile back, his own hand lifting to brush his fingers a little against his hair.

His own chest skips at those fingers on his lips. Still, unfortunately for Eren, Elliot still feels the inclination to gently tease him.]

Ehe, you say that but....you're turned on right now, aren't you?

[ you

oh, goddamn it. if his scales had dimmed a little during regular conversation, now, they go vibrant. he’s been caught red handed, holding his breath once he finds himself coming just a bit closer. eren’s tongue sets his lips in the process, being near to elliot’s scent really doesn’t aid his case—! his thumb follows the contour of elliot’s smile, and he lifts his brows. ]

Yeah. [ there’s no use in hiding! ] You made it worse when you mentioned staying with Mikleo.

[ he’s

he’s imagining things, blame the heat season . . . blame it. ]

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