Don't be hard on yourself for it. Better to happen with pixies so I have a chance to separate things than with a fae. [ priorities. ] I've been trying to figure things out for a while now and I might have some answers if I can figure out how to dance.
I thought about asking Mikasa to make us a fairy ring and Jean to get slammed, so that'd make four. [ he knows something is a little tense hanging around the former with what mikasa told him, but he had yet to hear from elliot. ] How're you with them?
It's still tense. [ expected, not even half of what they need to resolve is resolved, ] I always feel like I don't deserve to be around her but I'm not in any position to be pushing her away anymore.
[ it wouldn't fix the hole he blew open, but . . . he didn't know where it would lead, either. he was tired of snatching every "good" she could have away from her. ]
[There's a pause on his end. So Mikasa is trying to work through things with Eren, the guy who was the reason for the rift, while he hasn't heard a peep. Welp, that just says it all, doesn't it? ]
It's not important. I just overestimated our relationship.
[Or rather, how much HE mattered]
I know how much Mikasa means to you, so I really don't want to get you involved.
I was involved from the start, I always would’ve been. I’m sorry, for that.
[ he can’t say for certain if he made a mistake in staying quiet anymore. he needed that time and so did mikasa, but it was true that it caused . . . collateral damage. again. damage to people that had nothing to do with either of their problem.
no, he did make a mistake. it’s about time he accepted that it was, even if it would’ve happened anyway or if it was better or not. ]
I won’t interfere, if that’s what you mean, but what you’re feeling [ he pauses there, even ends up sending the message the way it was before sending the remainder: ] is important to me.
[He stares at that message for a good while, torn about what to say. ]
It's just how it is when you're a healer and a musician. I'm there for really important moments in people lives: weddings, injuries, funerals - you name it. My skills are important for those times, but it's not like I'm important. People will be grateful, sure, but I'm still an outsider to their lives.
Anyway, I slipped up and forgot that. I thought Mikasa and I were friends. So after she found out you were here, I decided to tell her that we were Bonded - because I didn't like the idea of lying to a friend, you know? But...turns out the feeling wasn't mutual, and she made that really clear.
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You were acting pretty funny. I think something about the pixies was affecting you. It was like you had taken drugs.
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...Which in retrospect, I probably should've.
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[ ........ yeah he typed that ]
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How to dance? Did I read that right?
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Are you tired?
[ why else would you doubt his wording ]
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Why do you want to find the oldest fae?
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There're stories from her time that say dragons and fae are connected. Some of them strictly protectors or predators. I'm going after why.
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I'm coming with you when you do.
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Yeah. I think a jig would probably be our best bet.
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[ that was a dance he could do!!! ]
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What does it entail?
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Yeah, I don't think we can pull that off with just the two of us.
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He hadn't brought up his fight with Mikasa to Eren because he didn't want to bother him.]
I'm okay with Jean, but...
Sorry, I don't think Mikasa and me working together would go very well.
I didn't know you two were on talking terms again.
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[ it wouldn't fix the hole he blew open, but . . . he didn't know where it would lead, either. he was tired of snatching every "good" she could have away from her. ]
What happened?
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It's not important. I just overestimated our relationship.
[Or rather, how much HE mattered]
I know how much Mikasa means to you, so I really don't want to get you involved.
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[ he can’t say for certain if he made a mistake in staying quiet anymore. he needed that time and so did mikasa, but it was true that it caused . . . collateral damage. again. damage to people that had nothing to do with either of their problem.
no, he did make a mistake. it’s about time he accepted that it was, even if it would’ve happened anyway or if it was better or not. ]
I won’t interfere, if that’s what you mean, but what you’re feeling [ he pauses there, even ends up sending the message the way it was before sending the remainder: ] is important to me.
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It's just how it is when you're a healer and a musician. I'm there for really important moments in people lives: weddings, injuries, funerals - you name it. My skills are important for those times, but it's not like I'm important. People will be grateful, sure, but I'm still an outsider to their lives.
Anyway, I slipped up and forgot that. I thought Mikasa and I were friends. So after she found out you were here, I decided to tell her that we were Bonded - because I didn't like the idea of lying to a friend, you know? But...turns out the feeling wasn't mutual, and she made that really clear.
It's my own fault really.
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