fiddlestick | aefenglom | Trails of Group Chat

[Re: this. Fie's using proper grammar. She has feelings.]

I'm as much about helping out as you guys are, but don't forget we opened the Guild for a reason. Volunteering your time freely is one thing, but adhering to an actual school schedule is a full time job. It's gotta be a give and take in some areas.

I kinda ran it on my own for a month, and it wasn't easy. I just want you to try and remember that...

Don't worry, Fie. As Guild Leader, the Guild is my responsibility. I asked you all to help me with it, so it's my job to make sure it's taken care of. And now that I'm back, I want to do that to the best of my ability. No matter what else I take on, that's always going to be the first thing on my mind.

And as Guild Leader, you're the face of it. If you're seen volunteering there all the time for no compensation, why should people even use the Guild? Think of that before you promise too much.

This is what I do back home. If we're trying it here, I don't want it to fail because we got too generous and over eager to help with new ideas.

I know. And it's not the first time I've left the Guild in an unsuitable position, even in such a short period of time.

I know that I'm not particularly suited for the position, and probably the least qualified person involved. Even so, I want to continue-- at least until I find a suitable replacement.

I'll try to think of something.

You're wrong. I wouldn't have gone along with it in the first place or even brought this up if you weren't the best for the job. Having you as leader makes me think it can succeed here, and it's why I'm taking it as seriously as I am.

Don't belittle our belief in you by jumping to that conclusion so suddenly.

[You know, there's something about Fie using proper grammar and punctuation that's really powerful. Towa has shared her insecurities with many of the people in their initial group. Perhaps it's Fie's turn.]

Fie...

As much as I'd like to say it is really sudden, it's not. The truth is-- I wanted to come back from Dorchacht and put my best foot forward as your Guild Leader after doubting myself for a long time. Even if I've always been put in positions of leadership, it's not like I've ever felt particularly skilled in a way that befits a leader. In fact, it's always been very hard for me. So I came to the sinking suspicion that it may not be something I'm well suited for.

However, I've always cared a great deal about the expectations others have for me. If someone's put their faith in me, then I owe it to them to work twice as hard and succeed despite my failings.

I don't mind that reality. But I don't want to give anyone false expectations.

This Guild is something I believe in. Something I want to succeed, from the bottom of my heart. I don't believe I'm well suited to be it's leader. The fact that I've already made a decision that looks bad for my position without realizing how it looks is probably proof enough of that.

However. If, knowing all that, there are still people who believe in the things I can accomplish, even if it may not be the right way or the easy way-- I don't mind working two, three, even four times as hard as anyone else to do it.

I haven't forgotten. I'm approaching this gig as a musician and not a member of the Guild. None of this should come out of the time I've put aside to helping the Guild, promise.

Honestly, unless the Coven's budget includes teacher pay, I don't see myself doing this more than once or twice a week anyway.

aefenglom | Trails of Group Chat

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