fiddlestick | Stella Fortuna Inbox

[There was once a time where he'd be described as some spineless little artist. A boy who kept his head down, who was fearful to even talk to nobles. But that boy died away a long time ago.

He lets out a little sigh and crosses his arms]

No, I think it's exactly what you meant. [It's not an angry accusation, but more he's cutting through the crap] You've been living through an extremely hard situation, so you're always thinking of survival first. And anything that could even chance causing a repeat of what your world went through scares you, right?

[In other words, you got trauma. He gets it. ]

...But you don't have to worry about that from me. I've seen what damage a blind vendetta can do. I'm not doing that. [he loves Crow, but he is not him]

I just said Forneus isn't so bad, but I'm not following him blindly. And I certainly don't agree with his "kill all gods" plan, so I'm looking for a different way to handle this. Okay?

Could you fucking use your words in a way that doesn't paint me like some sort of fucking coward? Spirits, Elliot--

[It's a sharp, knee-jerk remark, a buildup from the second that Elliot talks about his home, mingled with how Elliot had looked at him with disapproval, how he'd met Lutha's hesitance with the implication that said hesitancy would make him run away. Bullshit.

...]

[...

He has to take another second to pull himself back together and not just stomp away, because the rest of what Elliot had said is precisely what he wanted to hear. But even as battered as he now was, his ego still stood as an easy trigger, pulling meanings from nowhere, taking offense where someone else wouldn't bother.

When he speaks back up, it's quieter, far less a targeted statement and more a ramble, but with a noticeable crack of emotion.]

I don't want people to goddamn suffer, Elliot. I get it, I get what you meant, I know that's not your point, and I wish you'd just said as much to begin with, but... goddammit, please don't make this about me being afraid. [It comes out far more as a plea than anything remotely angry.

He hides from the weather because he is afraid. He stayed on the streets because he was afraid. He kept status quo because he was afraid. For once, he doesn't WANT to feel something like that.]

[Elliot watches that response. It is heartwarming to hear that Lutha does care about whether or not people suffer. Sometimes, when you're that deep into survival mode, it can be hard to think about other people. The fact that Lutha still can...well, it shows he is a good person, deep down.

And lucky for him, he's not fazed by even the explosive response. He will dial his own tone back, giving him a gentle smile and going back to his more positive tone]

Haha...sorry, I wasn't insinuating you were wrong or cowardly for feeling afraid. Honestly, all things considered, it's a logical fear for you to have.

[he shrugs]

To tell you the truth, I'm scared too. Actually...I'm basically always afraid, and half the time it isn't even rational. Like earlier today, I felt uneasy about using a pepper grinder on my eggs. No idea why. At least your fear makes sense.

And having that fear because you don't want people to suffer? That's a good thing, Lutha. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's just an emotion, cowardice is an action. And since you're still here...I'd say that's enough to show you're no coward.

Edited 2021-07-28 14:05 (UTC)

[He stays quiet for a long moment, his expression softening with something mildly touched... before his ears start growing hot, embarrassed at the sudden affirmation and honesty.]

Yeah, well... it's not like I can say anything. We've been here for months, and I still drop all and run if I see storms coming through. Spirits know Ana won't get off my back about it.

[His frustration is withered under the honesty of the moment, his fingers idly tugging at the fabric still wrapped around his shoulders.]

If a fear isn't rational to other people, it's not like it just... stops being something real enough to you.

Edited 2021-07-28 14:24 (UTC)

[Elliot will scratch the back of his head. He has notice how worked up Lutha gets during storms, and....yeah, Aidios knows he can see Ana doing that]

Ah, well, that's just how Ana is. She's not a bad person, but I think she tends to only really understand the "fight" response when it comes to fear. She's a little like my dad that way.

["IF YOU CAN'T HUG IT OUT, YOU FIGHT IT OUT" - Olaf Craig, probably.]

But mm ... isn't that the truth. It's not like you can just tell your emotions to stop feeling a certain way. [He knows that full well] I get where you're coming from though. Before we do anything, we should look into whether this world can actually survive without a presence of gods. It'd be good to know before we make our final decision over what to do.

[He blows out a breath, rolling his eyes at the chatter about Ana, but in an oddly normal way, lacking the derision that normally would pepper his expressions. He adjusts his bag against his hip and gestures for Elliot to follow. His everything hurts and he would rather not be just chilling out in the open, but this city is a lot larger than he expected... and he REALLY would rather not stay close to the harbor.]

Your dad's an ass too, huh. [Figures. Everyone here needs better families, holy hell.]

So, look, the fight part of Ana I can handle -- that's just normal by now. [They just fight to say hello, it is relaxing.] It's when she gets possessed by some sort of devil version of my mother that I get goddamn tired of her.

Being told you're dramatic gets old.

[His emotions can get the better of him a lot, sure. But to feel genuine fear and to be mocked for it... well, it's not like it's something unfamiliar. He'd have treated someone the same way, months ago.]

I'll go hunt down Forneus soon. I have plenty of bones to pick with him as it stands. Might as well get it all off the chest in one shot.

You know where he's hiding, Elliot?

[At the gesture, he will adjust his bag so it's over his shoulder before following along. He's not sure where Lutha wants to go, but it's not like he had much on the docket today besides cook dinner tonight, so he doesn't mind going along

As for the remark on his dad, he makes a little "ehh" sound, because really- his relationship with his dad is Complicated.]

He's not exactly that...it's more... [How to put it] My dad's a general in the Imperial Army, and his division's considered the strongest in Erebonia. So with a resume like that, unsurprisingly, a lot of his solutions to problems involve firepower.

[yeah, go figure. But boy...yeah, he can see Ana egging him on like that. And he probably gives her a reaction which only fuels it. He's seen this kind of situation before]

Yeah...I can see why it would get tiring. [He passes the fruit between his hands] It's a little ironic she accuses you of being dramatic, because she sure has her moments too.

[She is generally nice to him, but chaos does tend to follow that girl. He's noticed that much]

He's probably in his office -- because of what he is, it's hard for him to leave the place. But you can usually find the door if you're looking for it.

[His brows quirk up immediately, the topics of both Ana and Forneus set aside.]

They let humans lead the military?? [SINCE WHEN.] You definitely don't act like an army kid either way, but... what, are you guys the dominant race or something?

Huh?

[He looks confused by that question for a moment, before he remembers- oh yeah, Lutha's world is full of different non-human races. So he nods]

Yeah, basically. There's some non-humans around, like I know a talking cat, but I'd say 99.9% of Zemuria's population is human.

I take it that's not the case in your world?

Edited 2021-07-29 00:42 (UTC)

[Lutha shakes his head, fiddling with the Vision at his hip as they walk. An anxious hand, simply needing something to do.]

No. The monarchy has been completely Orcish since... [Phew, he actually has to think just how far back it went, knowing what he just learned.]... since the flooding happened, at least. Maybe longer.

Humans have more control than some - they have some noble bloodline involved in economy, ration distribution, things like that. They can serve as a soldier or even a local commander in most established towns.

But a human would never get close to a position like a general. We lost our ability to do that centuries ago, as far as anyone's concerned.

[He listens to that, making a thoughtful sound]

Hm...different instruments and a little remixed, but it's still that same tired melody.

[Using the argument of bloodlines to block people from privileged positions. It sounds like the same crap Elliot grew up dealing with, in other words- just with a little spin on it]

In Erebonia, almost everyone's human so those kinds of barriers are put up around your bloodline and social class instead. We're a commoner family, so Dad wasn't allowed to join any of the Provincial Armies. And then he worked harder than any other soldier in the Imperial Army to earn his rank. Dad doesn't do anything in half-measures.

[A trait that got clearly passed off to his son, even if Elliot won't openly admit it]

So stubborn as shit and with a spine to match, I guess. Easy to see where you got that from, then.

[Is he joking? It is ridiculously hard to tell since he said it completely straight.]

Not like it should matter. The only thing separating nobles and the common world is someone deciding that they have authority and demonstrating it. To make it just a matter of power for the fortune and a struggle for the rest is just asking for suffering and riot.

[Without missing a beat:]

Yeah, my mother.

[is he being serious? Is he just being difficult? Does he just have a deep-seated distaste for being compared to his father in any capacity, causing him to be obstinate on purpose? It's a mystery.]

Mm, my thoughts exactly. I don't think every noble is bad, I have a lot of friends who are nobles who try to do right by their titles. But a system that prioritized birthright over merit is bound for trouble, injustice and oppression.

[In other words, he loves you Jusis and Laura, but he's still ok with eating the rich]

[Congrats, Elliot, you get to hear Lutha choke on a bit of an actually amused laugh on the thin line of obstinance of that answer. He doesn't bother prodding further with that, though - spirits know he wouldn't want someone doing the same to him.]

Eh, I don't know. Even one that prioritizes merit has a whole damn flood of issues. Depends who's defining that merit, and how. It's not like our nobles are all based on blood. Pretty sure the monarchy would be fine with slaughtering anyone that couldn't fight back, if it wouldn't devastate the food supplies.

Either way, you're going to have the chances of someone with way too much free reign picking the system apart to lean on fear or power or other shit like that. I mean, hell, Celestia's apparently merit based in some ways, and look how they fucking turned out.

[Hey, he actually got something close to laughter. He wasn't expecting that, but it's good to hear! ]

Oh, I know a merit system wouldn't be perfect either. After the Noble Alliance lost the civil war, there were plenty of commoners who took the opportunity to try to abuse the system themselves. Some of them caused damage that'll take a long time to fix.

Still, I think people should be allowed to make their own paths, not be forced to follow something decided for them at birth. Even if it's got problems, it'd be an improvement. [If he had followed tradition, he would've ended up as a soldier, like his father. And hated every moment of it]

Though you're a little off about Celestia. The people of Teyvat thinks the visions and ascending to Celestia is based on merit - but it's not actually true. According to Forneus, everyone's in this world has their destiny written out for them in a constellation. That's why he needed to bring in outsiders to help.

Edited 2021-07-31 02:11 (UTC)

Kind of an idealistic assumption to make.

[Not one he entirely dislikes, not that he'd like to admit as much... but still idealistic, as far as he's concerned.

An improvement, just to not be forced to follow something predetermined, huh.

He goes awkwardly quiet as Elliot keeps talking, eyes drifting to his missing left hand.]

Do you believe him when he says that? We're just a handful of nobodies.

Eheh, sure is! I got plenty more idealistic dreams where that came from too.

[He's grounded enough in reality to know not everything would go smoothly. But he's not going to let himself be shamed into not dreaming for more. But a person has to dream, has to keep hoping for something better. Forward, relentlessly - just as he promised.]

[As for that question...]

First of all, nobodies can do a lot. So that doesn't matter. This isn't even the most ragtag team I've worked with.

[So don't discredit yourself!!!]

And I do. Not just because I trust him, but because I hear it in the music. Mondstadt is the city of music and freedom, and yet they only have one style of music - the same style they've had for centuries. Even my hometown of Heimdallr has more variety, and that's a pretty traditionalist place as far as music culture goes.

It's like...this world is in a stasis. Something's stunting music from evolving as it naturally would.

[His expression tightens with noticeable disbelief at first. Someone purposeless being able to do anything... Pft. It just sounded like a paradox. What worth did any of them have, other than to fill a space for a bored and restless deity?

But Elliot moves on, and Lutha does his best to unclench his jaw as he leads them into the main square, hesitating only a moment before gruffly nodding to the side to one of the winding sets of stairs.]

Figures that's what you'd judge things on. ["Things that literally anyone could have predicted" for 100, Alex.] It's not like variety always has to be important. Preservation means you stagnate sometimes. [And spirits only know his own land hadn't budged much in the last couple of centuries, either.

...]

Still... for a place that bragged about freedom, I don't see what reason they'd have to stick with what's always been done.

Why do you keep cycling back to that, anyway? You've got to have other reasons for working for all of this besides music.

[He's not surprised that Lutha immediately tries to be contrary. He's getting used to that just being how Lutha is. Sounds like he does get what Elliot means eventually though]

See? Exactly. Preservation's one thing, but I don't think that's what it is. Teyvat isn't engulfed in war or a large crisis. There's no reason art and music shouldn't be evolving - but something's blocking that evolution.

[Which just isn't natural. Music, people, places...they grow and evolve with time. ]

Eheh, well I am a professional musician. Music is what I understand best, so it's how I verified what Forneus told me. [That's all] But it's like I said - I think Celestia needs to be held accountable their actions, and I want people to have a chance to choose their own paths. So if I can, I want to help.

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