fiddlestick | Stella Fortuna Inbox

How am I supposed to know?

[A beat, before he flinches at the kneejerk response.]

That's... [Stupid? That was stupid. Fuck. He blows out a breath, resetting himself.] I don't know. I remember the snow, and the last time I talked to you, and getting separated. One second I was there, and the next I was falling into a fucking boat out in the docks. Goddamn lucky I didn't end up in the water. [He goes a little pale as he mutters that, rubbing at his face with his gloved hand, before settling onto something Elliot had said.]

"All this time"? How long have I been gone?

Edited (phrasing was awkward sorry about that) 2021-07-28 01:51 (UTC)

[...Yep. Same Lutha as always. Elliot doesn't bother to respond to that defensive bit, instead focusing on what actually matters]

Really? So you don't remember anything since the mountain? That's so strange... though I'm sure Forneus would have an answer.

[Probably has something to do with him, what with being the god of time and all]

It's been a few months though. Today's December 13th, to give you an idea.

[...

Very, very flatly:]

I don't know what "December" means, Elliot.

[You kids and your hip lingo.

Still, "months" is enough for him to get the general idea. He lets out another frustrated sigh as he rummages through the bag under his left arm.]

Figures it might be Forneus, if he's the one that pulled us here. Is that gremlin still around here somewhere, or has he gone back into wherever the fuck he hid when he first brought us here?

[He sighs]

It's the name of a month.

[He's going to assume that Lutha at least understands what a month is]

He's still around, you can talk to him if you want. He really isn't so bad once you get to know him.

[He'll shrug at Elliot's explanation, but given that he doesn't stare at him in straight confusion, Elliot can probably guess he has assumed correctly.]

Not sure what good can come of a god that wants what he wants. [No making friends with a god, Elliot, that's how someone he knows got cursed!! Bad idea.

Instead of expanding on the thought, though, Lutha pulls a piece of fruit out of the bag and immediately tosses it to Elliot. Think fast.]

[Hey wow what!! He'll make a slight surprised noise before catching the fruit. He nearly drops it, but he'll manage not to and recover. ] ...Thanks.

[But boy ... "what he wants", huh. Elliot isn't entirely sure what that means, but at the same time..]

...You never got to see what was at the peak of the mountain, did you?

[Elliot has reflexes, hooray! He shrugs off the thanks, a sour comment of deflection on his tongue before Elliot beats him to it, the question making him pause.]

What, besides the frozen corpses? [He shakes his head.] I told you, I went directly from there to here.

Did something happen?

[Well he saw that much at least, so he can cut into the meat of it]

Mm. As it turns out, those people were killed by Celestia. They were loyal followers of the gods, but they did something to displease them. So Celestia sentenced the entire civilization to freeze to death.

[He goes quiet, glancing to the side to make sure the grocer didn't hear, closing the distance between Elliot just so he can keep his voice lowered.] Maybe don't mention divine judgement around people that just watched something divine die. [It's simply an anxious warning, one that he doesn't dwell on in the slightest given how he continues.] ...So Celestia is full of murderers. It doesn't change what I said, Elliot. Messing with the structure of something like that could be even worse.

[He glances over at the grocer, but it looks like he didn't hear Elliot- too busy making a sale with another customer. So he'll just continue on...

With looking rather unhappy with Lutha. He clicks his tongue a little and looks at Lutha- keeping his voice down. Even so, there's a steel to it.]

You know, when I was growing up? I heard those kinds of warnings every day. Be good, keep my head down, don't anger any nobles - or things will be made worse. Not that behaving ever stopped them from hurting people. Sometimes there wouldn't even be a reason for it.

Celestia is no different from those nobles. I don't care if they're gods. What they're doing is wrong. One way or another, they need to be held accountable for their actions.

And even if it's scary, I'm still gonna do just that.

Edited 2021-07-28 06:22 (UTC)

[...

Something flinches in his otherwise cold expression.

Don't be stupid.

It's a gut reaction, one he wants to spit right back, one that can nearly be read from his very expression. But his eyes shut, and he blows out a long breathe through his nose, his hand running through his hair.

This sounded too much like people from home who ended up dying due to the hope that drove them forward. But that steel cuts through it, a reminder that this isn't some spineless little artist boy talking out his ears. The windmill. The hunger. The exodus.

...]

What do you think I... [Spirits, no, he sounded like his father. He takes in another breath.] Look, that's... that's not what I meant, Elliot.

They need their asses handed back to them, that much is fucking obvious. Behaving is the last thing I'd like to do.

If we're sliding down the slope of actually killing any of them... and I mean ANY god, even Forneus... I'd rather we not doom an entire world again just for the sake of a vendetta, no matter how justified that vendetta might be.

[Again. He thinks of his dying husk of a world. Of what little remained of its people. Of how little time they had left.]

That's what I don't want, Elliot. Justice for the sake of ignorance.

I want to know what we're getting into.

[There was once a time where he'd be described as some spineless little artist. A boy who kept his head down, who was fearful to even talk to nobles. But that boy died away a long time ago.

He lets out a little sigh and crosses his arms]

No, I think it's exactly what you meant. [It's not an angry accusation, but more he's cutting through the crap] You've been living through an extremely hard situation, so you're always thinking of survival first. And anything that could even chance causing a repeat of what your world went through scares you, right?

[In other words, you got trauma. He gets it. ]

...But you don't have to worry about that from me. I've seen what damage a blind vendetta can do. I'm not doing that. [he loves Crow, but he is not him]

I just said Forneus isn't so bad, but I'm not following him blindly. And I certainly don't agree with his "kill all gods" plan, so I'm looking for a different way to handle this. Okay?

Could you fucking use your words in a way that doesn't paint me like some sort of fucking coward? Spirits, Elliot--

[It's a sharp, knee-jerk remark, a buildup from the second that Elliot talks about his home, mingled with how Elliot had looked at him with disapproval, how he'd met Lutha's hesitance with the implication that said hesitancy would make him run away. Bullshit.

...]

[...

He has to take another second to pull himself back together and not just stomp away, because the rest of what Elliot had said is precisely what he wanted to hear. But even as battered as he now was, his ego still stood as an easy trigger, pulling meanings from nowhere, taking offense where someone else wouldn't bother.

When he speaks back up, it's quieter, far less a targeted statement and more a ramble, but with a noticeable crack of emotion.]

I don't want people to goddamn suffer, Elliot. I get it, I get what you meant, I know that's not your point, and I wish you'd just said as much to begin with, but... goddammit, please don't make this about me being afraid. [It comes out far more as a plea than anything remotely angry.

He hides from the weather because he is afraid. He stayed on the streets because he was afraid. He kept status quo because he was afraid. For once, he doesn't WANT to feel something like that.]

[Elliot watches that response. It is heartwarming to hear that Lutha does care about whether or not people suffer. Sometimes, when you're that deep into survival mode, it can be hard to think about other people. The fact that Lutha still can...well, it shows he is a good person, deep down.

And lucky for him, he's not fazed by even the explosive response. He will dial his own tone back, giving him a gentle smile and going back to his more positive tone]

Haha...sorry, I wasn't insinuating you were wrong or cowardly for feeling afraid. Honestly, all things considered, it's a logical fear for you to have.

[he shrugs]

To tell you the truth, I'm scared too. Actually...I'm basically always afraid, and half the time it isn't even rational. Like earlier today, I felt uneasy about using a pepper grinder on my eggs. No idea why. At least your fear makes sense.

And having that fear because you don't want people to suffer? That's a good thing, Lutha. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's just an emotion, cowardice is an action. And since you're still here...I'd say that's enough to show you're no coward.

Edited 2021-07-28 14:05 (UTC)

[He stays quiet for a long moment, his expression softening with something mildly touched... before his ears start growing hot, embarrassed at the sudden affirmation and honesty.]

Yeah, well... it's not like I can say anything. We've been here for months, and I still drop all and run if I see storms coming through. Spirits know Ana won't get off my back about it.

[His frustration is withered under the honesty of the moment, his fingers idly tugging at the fabric still wrapped around his shoulders.]

If a fear isn't rational to other people, it's not like it just... stops being something real enough to you.

Edited 2021-07-28 14:24 (UTC)

[Elliot will scratch the back of his head. He has notice how worked up Lutha gets during storms, and....yeah, Aidios knows he can see Ana doing that]

Ah, well, that's just how Ana is. She's not a bad person, but I think she tends to only really understand the "fight" response when it comes to fear. She's a little like my dad that way.

["IF YOU CAN'T HUG IT OUT, YOU FIGHT IT OUT" - Olaf Craig, probably.]

But mm ... isn't that the truth. It's not like you can just tell your emotions to stop feeling a certain way. [He knows that full well] I get where you're coming from though. Before we do anything, we should look into whether this world can actually survive without a presence of gods. It'd be good to know before we make our final decision over what to do.

[He blows out a breath, rolling his eyes at the chatter about Ana, but in an oddly normal way, lacking the derision that normally would pepper his expressions. He adjusts his bag against his hip and gestures for Elliot to follow. His everything hurts and he would rather not be just chilling out in the open, but this city is a lot larger than he expected... and he REALLY would rather not stay close to the harbor.]

Your dad's an ass too, huh. [Figures. Everyone here needs better families, holy hell.]

So, look, the fight part of Ana I can handle -- that's just normal by now. [They just fight to say hello, it is relaxing.] It's when she gets possessed by some sort of devil version of my mother that I get goddamn tired of her.

Being told you're dramatic gets old.

[His emotions can get the better of him a lot, sure. But to feel genuine fear and to be mocked for it... well, it's not like it's something unfamiliar. He'd have treated someone the same way, months ago.]

I'll go hunt down Forneus soon. I have plenty of bones to pick with him as it stands. Might as well get it all off the chest in one shot.

You know where he's hiding, Elliot?

[At the gesture, he will adjust his bag so it's over his shoulder before following along. He's not sure where Lutha wants to go, but it's not like he had much on the docket today besides cook dinner tonight, so he doesn't mind going along

As for the remark on his dad, he makes a little "ehh" sound, because really- his relationship with his dad is Complicated.]

He's not exactly that...it's more... [How to put it] My dad's a general in the Imperial Army, and his division's considered the strongest in Erebonia. So with a resume like that, unsurprisingly, a lot of his solutions to problems involve firepower.

[yeah, go figure. But boy...yeah, he can see Ana egging him on like that. And he probably gives her a reaction which only fuels it. He's seen this kind of situation before]

Yeah...I can see why it would get tiring. [He passes the fruit between his hands] It's a little ironic she accuses you of being dramatic, because she sure has her moments too.

[She is generally nice to him, but chaos does tend to follow that girl. He's noticed that much]

He's probably in his office -- because of what he is, it's hard for him to leave the place. But you can usually find the door if you're looking for it.

[His brows quirk up immediately, the topics of both Ana and Forneus set aside.]

They let humans lead the military?? [SINCE WHEN.] You definitely don't act like an army kid either way, but... what, are you guys the dominant race or something?

Huh?

[He looks confused by that question for a moment, before he remembers- oh yeah, Lutha's world is full of different non-human races. So he nods]

Yeah, basically. There's some non-humans around, like I know a talking cat, but I'd say 99.9% of Zemuria's population is human.

I take it that's not the case in your world?

Edited 2021-07-29 00:42 (UTC)

[Lutha shakes his head, fiddling with the Vision at his hip as they walk. An anxious hand, simply needing something to do.]

No. The monarchy has been completely Orcish since... [Phew, he actually has to think just how far back it went, knowing what he just learned.]... since the flooding happened, at least. Maybe longer.

Humans have more control than some - they have some noble bloodline involved in economy, ration distribution, things like that. They can serve as a soldier or even a local commander in most established towns.

But a human would never get close to a position like a general. We lost our ability to do that centuries ago, as far as anyone's concerned.

[He listens to that, making a thoughtful sound]

Hm...different instruments and a little remixed, but it's still that same tired melody.

[Using the argument of bloodlines to block people from privileged positions. It sounds like the same crap Elliot grew up dealing with, in other words- just with a little spin on it]

In Erebonia, almost everyone's human so those kinds of barriers are put up around your bloodline and social class instead. We're a commoner family, so Dad wasn't allowed to join any of the Provincial Armies. And then he worked harder than any other soldier in the Imperial Army to earn his rank. Dad doesn't do anything in half-measures.

[A trait that got clearly passed off to his son, even if Elliot won't openly admit it]

So stubborn as shit and with a spine to match, I guess. Easy to see where you got that from, then.

[Is he joking? It is ridiculously hard to tell since he said it completely straight.]

Not like it should matter. The only thing separating nobles and the common world is someone deciding that they have authority and demonstrating it. To make it just a matter of power for the fortune and a struggle for the rest is just asking for suffering and riot.

[Without missing a beat:]

Yeah, my mother.

[is he being serious? Is he just being difficult? Does he just have a deep-seated distaste for being compared to his father in any capacity, causing him to be obstinate on purpose? It's a mystery.]

Mm, my thoughts exactly. I don't think every noble is bad, I have a lot of friends who are nobles who try to do right by their titles. But a system that prioritized birthright over merit is bound for trouble, injustice and oppression.

[In other words, he loves you Jusis and Laura, but he's still ok with eating the rich]

Stella Fortuna Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

1/2

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)