Kaisou: Class VII Group Chat

[fiddlestick]

Class VII Group Chat

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Private to Jusis and Rean | Text

[fiddlestick]

[During THIS]

Jusis-

Zhongli's friend named his saxophone after him because he wants to sleep with him, but Zhongli is denser than Rean so his friend will probably be left hanging for eternity.

Also you SERIOUSLY owe me for this one, I want to bleach my brain so bad.

Private Forever

[noblerise]

[..................................

Holy—]

I'm fairly certain Zhongli suffers from a combination of oblivious ace and oblivious gay. Had I know it was that bad, I wouldn't have put your name forward like that. My apologies.

I'll purchase a violin or piano for you for services rendered. Yes, I'm aware of how much they cost.

[fiddlestick]

I don't think even THAT explains it. I even tried to explain to him that saxophone is a very sexy instrument and he STILL didn't get it.

-- Wait you mean it?? A real one?? I was just thinking dinner!

[noblerise]

Fair enough. Even I would've gotten it at that point.

Yes, I mean it. After an unexpected kindness, I have the means to purchase it if you wish. However, if it's only dinner you want to forgive me....

[fiddlestick]

Seriously! I didn't think there was anyone who WOULDN'T get it.

nnnngh, as tempting as it is to get a new instrument- dinner will be fine! I'm not actually upset with you.

Besides, I much rather pick out my own instruments. I'm quite particular about that stuff.

[Yeah no shit]

[noblerise]

Godspeed is all I can say.

Very well, then I'll keep that in mind. I'll let you pick the restaurant since I'm paying for it.

That's quite understandable from my perspective.

[fiddlestick]

[....]

Flavortown.

[noblerise]

[Jusis furiously googling what the fuck a Flavortown is—]

Deal. If Rean wants to come along, that's more than fine.

#helping

[motiv8]

If you think I'm missing this for any reason, you have another thing coming.

also private, ofc

[motiv8]

I'm a unit of measurement, now...

[that's it that's the whole text]

private FOREVER

[fiddlestick]

Sorry Rean...

Look. look. If you found out someone had named their SAXOPHONE after you, what message would you take from that?

and ever and ever amen

[motiv8]

. . .

I'm very glad I'm at least ranked above that.

Has he never heard Careless Whisper?

[fiddlestick]

Apparently not!!

[For rean, he'll link screencaps of the conversation]

Even after I explained it, he still didn't connect the dots!

[motiv8]

I

[The "someone is typing" animation plays for quite a bit after this as Rean tries and fails to put his thoughts to words.]

He may be stupid.

[fiddlestick]

Yeah. I think you hit it on the head there Rean.

I feel really bad for Venti. You can tell by his playing he's REALLY thirsty.

[motiv8]

...Well, you can tell. Whether I could is probably a separate story, and Professor Zhongli pretty much certainly can't.

Poor guy, though. I wish him the best.

[fiddlestick]

No no, I think you'd see it too. He was practically humping his cello when we were playing at the Vogue this weekend.

...

Maybe we should get him a bad dragon gift card. For the sake of his instruments.

[noblerise]

No, because he's an immortal dragon who probably thinks opera is still current for music trends.

[Jusis would tell them that Zhongli's also a former god, but that would require enough drinks to make him forget the fact that THE BLACK ORDER HAS A GOD UNDER THEIR THUMB.]

[fiddlestick]

He's a what now?

[noblerise]

An immortal dragon.

[fiddlestick]

[What the friiiiiiiiiiiiick]

Just whenever I think things can't get weirder, this town finds a way.

So Venti wants to hook up with an immortal dragon. Which probably makes him immortal himself. I guess that'd explain why he knows so many instruments.

[noblerise]

[....

Oh no.

Several things clicked into place and now Jusis has a strong desire to pull out the good vodka.]

I need to lie down for a few hours.

[motiv8]

Huh.

Well, you and I had pretty much guessed "immortal," but "dragon" is certainly new.

[noblerise]

It explains a great deal about certain habits, though.

[motiv8]

It sure does...

Something something hoarding all the gold... or expensive things, as the case may be.