[IC] Mochi House Group Text @ recolle

[fiddlestick]

Mochi House

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[fabrefactions]

[ Don't be coy Akira, you're the one who tried to make him make a bet on whether or not he'd have sex. ]

That is equally unsexy imagery, so perhaps. [ Please stop referring to his boyfriend's dick as a kebab, this is terrible. ]

Suffer, might be the better word.

[fiddlestick]

[ Another person who sets himself on fire. How many people like that do these two know?? He makes a bit of face, but decides to distract with a joke. ]

Well...a-at least kebabs are usually more meaty....

[This is a terrible]

S-Suffer is definitely the better word. But I guess it is a step towards...equality? I think?

[maskreant]

Point is you eat it.

[ HE’S TRYING HIS BEST NOT TO SMILE BECAUSE meaty. Kebab. It’s so bad, so funny, and he wishes it fucking wasn’t or that he had no sense of humor. Okay, it’s too late. He’s smiling a bit, but stifling any laughter down his throat. It’s. Fine. ]

Equally, we’ll all suffer from 50 Shades. [ SPEAKING OF SUFFERING. ] Did you guys see what Ann gave me for my birthday?

[fabrefactions]

Among other things.

[ All of this is terrible. But it is sort of funny as well. ]

It appears we have you to thank for this suffering. [ Oh good, a way out of this entire conversation. ]

No? What did she get you-- something nice?

[fiddlestick]

[ He chokes a little on yusuke's remark, torn between hating this and laughing. WOW DUDE. ]

No. What was it...?

[ He has a bad feeling considering the nature of this conversation, but lets ride this madness together ]

[maskreant]

[ What Yusuke does with his kebabs has nothing to do with them!! He has to stop smiling because when he opened Ann’s gift in the bag... in the restaurant, he died. ]

Fuzzy handcuffs.

[fabrefactions]

[ Look, you started this kebab joke, Akira. Now you have to live with the vague references to the fact that Yusuke has had The Sex. ]

... Fuzzy... handcuffs.

[ O K. ]

What colour?

[ This is important. ]

[fiddlestick]

Fuzzy ... wow.

[Considering she dates a cop, he felt like he really didn't want to know where she got that idea.]

W-Why does the color matter??

[maskreant]

[ That’s fine, but Akira hasn’t realized they may have both gotten laid on the same day. Uhmmm. ]

Black?

[fabrefactions]

Aesthetics are important it all things. For example, if they are yellow they would go poorly with both Akira and Akechi's complexions.

[ How to shamelessly talk about sexual things while removing the sexual aspect completely to focus on how the colour of them looks against the user's skin: the Yusuke Kitagawa story. ]

... But black seems fine, if a little predictable. [ Not as predictable as pink though. ] Was it a joke gift, or...?

[ It's going to be fun for both of them once they realise they did the do on the same day, what larks. ]

[fiddlestick]

T-They're fuzzy handcuffs Yusuke, I don't think they look good on anyone...

[That isn't the point of them?? But god of course Yusuke would be concerned with aesthetic to that amount of detail. ]

Um, she dates a cop so...m-maybe we shouldn't think too deeply on why she thought of them?

[maskreant]

Black matches everything at least.

[ Yusuke is a blessing and a curse at the same time. He has never thought about how cuffs should enhance their complexion. ]

Even if she’s dating a cop, she’s after my blood. It has to be gag gift? Why wouldn’t it—[ he regrets asking this question now. ]

[fabrefactions]

It is a very versatile shade, yes.

[ Well, now Akira gets to consider this very seriously. What a great day. ]

...

Perhaps she thinks it'll be something you'd enjoy using? Or perhaps she just enjoys embarrassing you. [ Or perhaps it's what she's into and she wants to spread the joy of handcuffs. WHO KNOWS. ]

[fiddlestick]

[ This is why Elliot said don't think too deeply....he tried to warn you.

But now here we are, in this insane rabbit hole. He clears his throat. ]

I-I mean, she's a phantom thief dating a cop, and you're a phantom thief dating a detective. So maybe... Um...something to bond over?

O-Or it's just a joke. It doesn't matter, right?

[maskreant]

It has to be she wants to embarrass me since this is a horrible way to bond... I did tell her to cuff Mako once to see if he likes it since he’s a cop? And offered to ask him if he’s into that for her.

[ Well. Now you know? This is getting bad... Akira is starting to get comfortable. UHMM. ]

I wouldn’t mind using them on Goro, actually.

[fabrefactions]

[ RIP Elliot, Yusuke has no shame so he's got no problem with this. ]

Oh... I wonder if she learned he was and wanted to offer you the opportunity. I suppose the restraint aspect and the shift in power is part of the appeal...?

[ Oh.

Right. ]

Perhaps you should ask him about it. He... may be quite open to these things. [ Like "big ol' dragon dildos on his credit card bill" open. ]

[fiddlestick]

Ohhh, that could've been it. [What Akira said anyway about the joke]

Aha...yeah. If you feel that way, there's nothing wrong with asking.

[maskreant]

I'll definitely ask.

[ No, he probably won't. They're just going to somehow appear on Goro's wrists out of nowhere because Akira is the way he is.

He squints at Yusuke for both things... ]

Do you know something, Yusuke?

[ That Pause gave it away. ]

[fabrefactions]

[ Ah.

Hm. ]

Well... with all the backlogged mail coming through, I may have ... come across some things that Akechi ordered.

[ .... As in "fell from the sky and imploded sex toys from the box at him" come across. ]

[maskreant]

Go on?

[ WHY ARE YOU SO DEVASTATED. Akira is smiling like normal, if not very curious. ]

[fabrefactions]

...

[ Maybe he's traumatised, Akira?? Give him a moment? ]

... Have you heard of a website named "bad dragon"? I had not. But now I am... aware.

[fiddlestick]

Bad...

[his eyes widen. Yes. Yes he has heard of this company through the wonders of internet forums]


Ohhh boy.

[maskreant]

Yeah, I have.

[ And Akira falls silent because he's scheming... Y'all probably know this look already—it isn't at all mad or angered, but instead devious.

Prepare Goro's gravestone. ]

[fabrefactions]

[ Oh dear. That is absolutely a scheming face. ]

I was probably not supposed to tell you that.

For my sake at least, go easy on him. He will know I let it slip and I do not wish to suffer.

[fiddlestick]

[ Yeah that is for sure his scheming face ]

H-Huh?

[...]

Wait, are you saying he ordered from that site without Akira knowing...?

[Why would you do that????]

I'm gonna regret this, but did you...see? What he ordered?