Elliot "actual disney princess" Craig (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fiddlestick) wrote2019-05-31 11:12 pm
fiddlestick) wrote2019-05-31 11:12 pm
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aefenglom IC Inbox
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Zemurian Chat | 🌶 Overflow
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[Eren is there like any geographical landscape that doesn't cause you sadness?
Elliot for his part, moves quickly to get ready to go and head out there. He's not sure what's going on, so he tries to make sure he's prepared. He puts on his quartz bracelet, but leaves his staff since that felt a little overkill. Sure sometimes these trips with Eren lead to adventures where he needs magic- but he probably just wants to talk this time.
Eventually, he's out there, saving time by teleporting to the spot. So by the time Eren arrives, Elliot is already on the sitting spot, waiting for him]
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the ten minutes was more for eren than anything to get there. his pace isn't quite rushed, but the larger steps he'd take could count for three or four regulars. in no time, the salty harbor scent and gulls happy to say hello to a coming summer are riding his senses. it's a little chilly here, too, and eren ends up retreating his limbs from the brisk breeze. he preferred the muggy heat in town.
he chooses his seat next to his bond, adjusts where his tail would rest (not between them, for sure) and once settled— tips his head back to blow out a dragging sigh angled to his forehead; stray bangs wave around, and the dying huff nearly becomes a tired raspberry. ]
Sorry about lately. [ he's been quiet and distanced, but not because he wanted to hide or had problems with elliot, specifically. eren simply had . . . too much on his plate, and one more presence would probably make him burst at the worst time. he's better now. ]
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It's alright...it didn't feel like you were avoiding me on purpose.
[All month, it had felt like Eren was going through a lot. A few times he thought about reaching out to check on him, but it had felt like Eren needed distance at the moment. Elliot could understand that, it wasn't like he'd been in danger from being on his own for awhile.]
What happened? Are you ready to talk about it?
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[ two major things. he’s almost glad that they sum themselves up rather than leaving him with spiraling dead-end questions, like the first one did. eren’s tongue dances, mulling the words he could, and where to actually start. ]
I spent a night with Mikasa.
[
he doesn’t mean just spending time ]
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Oh no...
[Really what else can you say to that. Eren you dang trainwreck]
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[ even if they didn’t flat out do the deed— just. kissed a lot. and succ. but even eren’s own memory is spotty about it with only alcohol to fill in the spaces. maybe the oh, no should intensify . . . ]
I spent most of the month thinking I should just disappear from here. Keep running. [ not die, nothing like that. just. poof, as any human would feel at some point. eren draws his arms between his legs, shoulders on top of them and weaving his fingers together— his talons tap his knuckles. ] Sounds like a waste of time, doesn’t it?
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[Yep, that sure is an intensified oh no, because Eren has earned it. There's so many bad choices at once here, and also the complete opposite of AVOIDING Mikasa. He had expected things to turn ugly at some point, but Eren sure managed to exceed expectations on how much]
...Yeah, it does. I mean it's an understandable feeling, but... [Running wouldn't fix anything. Running HASN'T fixed anything, clearly in Eren's case]
...Have you decided to stop running then?
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Because of a friend who showed up, a friend who left— and you.
[ he didn't know how to explain being told something so many times only for it to not make any sense at all until it finally did— he's not too late, but hell if he doesn't feel a lot more than an asshole, shit and motherfucker all in one bundle. ]
You always said this could be another chance and it . . . Didn't look that way until it felt like I really had one.
[ if that made sense—? and he's just— so torn that he didn't see it before. now jean's gone, but at least eren could say, for certain, that the last thing he could remember about him at this very moment was . . . fun. ]
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...I'm sorry to hear your friend left.
[He didn't know who it was, but the sentiment was the same. Crow had just left a day ago, so he knew that it hurt even if he knows he might be able to see him at home, at long last.]
Sometimes it takes awhile for things to sink it ... [So yeah, no offense that his words took awhile to take effect. It happens] So what will you do now?
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I don't know how much you knew Sokie. [ . . . ] Or Jean.
[ there's a touch to sokie's name, of genuine fondness. a witch he hung out with a lot, they had some pretty good runs and fooling around stemming from a mutual attraction to the liberty they loved. jean, on the other hand, runs deeper. the roots of that name dig deep and wrap around the core reason eren has made serious, unrelenting choices. it's a jab to the gut. he's important, has been important for years as they grew.
and for some reason, elliot will be reminded of a horse. ]
I need to talk to her. Mikasa. [ —correction. ] If she wants to talk to me.
[ eren rolls his shoulders back, turns his hand up, exposes his palm . . . and sets it on elliot's lap. he knows what he wants to do and he's going through with it but he still feels. shaky? frightened? worried? he doesn't look any of those things, eren was sturdy and imposing. even right now, when you looked at him. it was the inside that only elliot could see right now. ]
She'll be able to choose what she wants from there, [ he's— letting her go, to be honest, and it's hurting but everything before this was hurting even more. he couldn't do this back home. might as well do it here. ] and I'll respect that.
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[ Jean on the other hand, he hadn't heard of. Still, he can feel the emotional connections through Eren. These were important people to him, now gone.
Also maybe Jean really likes horses? Huh, okay so like Jusis. Weird detail to add, but whatever.
The more important issue though, was Eren's plans. Elliot will take that hand, using both his much smaller hands to gently hold onto Eren's. Even if he doesn't show it outwardly, Elliot can feel the anxiety from him. He knows to not trust what Eren shows on the outside and to listen only to the Bond, he's spent so long learning how to hide his emotions after all. ]
You're finally ready huh? [He says, but not in a chiding way. He's proud that Eren's finally reached this step] What will you say to her, if she wants to talk?
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[ they felt like— they were small in his. elliot’s hands could easily fit into his palm. eren only squeezes the sides of them into a loose and appreciative hold while his insides quiver out of control. at least everything seems superficially sound when you look at him. ]
It’s a lot to unpack. It could take months. [ but he supposes, since he can’t actually go back in time here and tell his four month younger dragon self, hey, don’t do that, he just has to hope he has enough time to even get to this point. ] I kept it all from them for years.
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[That's impressive, honestly. Well, it's just like Eren to never do anything in half measures. Of course if he choose to share things, he'd do it with full disclosure.
...I hope she'll be willing to hear you out. For both your sakes.
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[ that is saying something. but, considering their relationship— not impossible. hell mikasa is still upset about levi beating the shit out of him in court and that was five years ago. and necessary. it could take . . . a really long time just to get close to her again. ]
. . . Like I said, [ eren rolls his shoulders in an attempt to relax them— super stiff. ] it's going to take a while just to start. But I, [ he pauses to wet his lips and consequently takes the blip of time to hold elliot's hand further. ] can't waste more time here.
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[Longer than the fallout between Eren and her. Considering their world, she probably could never afford to let her guard down.]
Yeah...we don't know how much longer either of you will be here. [He says a little quietly. Crow and Randy were gone now, he knew well how fleeting this place could be]
cw: stabbing in the link
[ sorry elliot: eren fucked her up. though he didn't know them well, eren is well aware of the trickle of loss that bubbled around the same time as his. ]
Did you have a good time with them?
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He sighs and looks down a little before he looks out at the shoreline]
...I did. Though I know Crow was keeping something from us. I was hoping he'd come forward eventually but... [he sighs] He's stubborn as always.
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it makes him think a little, and a single mental knot slowly begins to loosen. ]
He probably had a reason. [ everyone has some kind of personal reason for that. no argument. ] I thought you knew, more or less?
[ he’s curious— because he remembers the talk they had about death all the way back in dorchacht’s first visit. unless there was more than one secret. ]
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He's alive again. We don't know how or why, other than it has something to do with being an Awakener-- [Which means nothing to Eren, right] er, a special power he has.
I got the distinct impression he knew more about what's going on, but....
[He'd never share. Which...was very Crow-like, but disappointing he never actually opened up. Elliot's well aware Eren's got his secrets too, and while he's curious...he knew to respect his space. It wasn't like it affected Elliot...unlike what Crow was hiding.
But Eren saying that Crow had a reason? Makes him sigh and shake his head]
Believe me, I know his reason. He knew whatever it was would make us unhappy, so he avoided it. Whether if it was for his sake or to protect me...who knows.
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I haven't told you anything about me . . . For both reasons.
[ the honesty comes abruptly and causes a twitch in eren's eyelids. a wince. when it came to eren's home friends— the truth was necessary to heal the hole he blasted through them. he had no luxury of being able to approximate with them again without explaining himself, and with elliot . . . it just felt like there was no reason beyond professionalism for them to be bonded if he couldn't open up, at least little by little. with the behavioral issues mostly smoothed, the step up is now or never. ]
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[Elliot has noticed the lack of information, the dodging to subjects, the emotions that are sometimes very carefully shield. There was so much about Eren he didn't know.]
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious, I am...but we're not from the same world. Even if I knew everything, it's not like I could do anything about it.
[That was the truth of it. He was a curious person, he'd love to have Eren open up. But...he knows that's a selfish desire. His life wouldn't really change if he knew everything, he was nothing more than a spectator. It could only stand to damage his relationship with Eren if he tried to force him to open up.]
But that's not the case with Crow. [He sighs] Maybe he wants to have a happy memory to look back on...but I'd rather face reality than be blindsided again.
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You have every right. [ the same way crow had his, and so did eren and everyone else— it was so complicated. you couldn’t have it all when it depended on someone else . . . freedom really was cruel, and still he went after it like it was the only thing he had left to fight for. ] Back home— I had to make a decision.
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He tilts his head at Eren. From the way he's acting about Elliot's feelings towards Crow...there's some guilt there.]
Yeah, and I'm sure it wasn't an easy one. [He moves his hand to touch Eren's cheek] Listen...no matter how Mikasa reacts, no matter your past - I'm going to continue to support you as your Bonded. You don't have to worry.
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I’m . . . About to kill everyone.
[ how could anyone support that—? except jaegerists. ]
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There's a mix of confusion, surprise and concern coming from his bond as he tries to process that. It's a frightening prospect - it would be for anyone.
And yet...he doesn't pull away]
...Why?
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